Feeds

The KILLER MUTANT FUNGUS in YOUR DISHWASHER

Don't approach without a biohaz suit and a flamethrower

Build a business case: developing custom apps

Malign fungal entities may be breeding and evolving in your dishwasher, boffins warn, saying that the deadly toadstool-esque kitchen triffid yeast creatures have already become almost unkillable and may soon mutate into frightful blobominations able to launch out their deadly spores to "colonise" unwary nearby humans with horrific consequences.

The explicit warning, headed bluntly "My dishwasher is trying to kill me" comes in a statement annoucing publication of a new study into "extremotolerant" fungi dwelling in the world's dishwashers, laundry appliances and coffee machines.

Dishwashers in 101 cities on six continents were examined during the survey, no doubt by biohazard-suited boffins tooled up with a fearsome arsenal of chemical-warfare weaponry, flamethrowers etc for use in the event of a toadstooloid spore attack.

According to the investigators, some 62 per cent of the dishwashers contained "potentially pathogenic fungal flora". No less than 56 per cent of these were host to the "polyextremotolerant" black yeasts Exophiala dermatitidis and E phaeomuriformis. It seems that the scientists found the yeast monsters all but impossible to kill:

Both Exophiala species showed remarkable tolerance to heat, high salt concentrations, aggressive detergents, and to both acid and alkaline water.

This is a serious business, because the deadly black yeastoid colonies burgeoning along the rubber sealing strip are quite capable of "colonising" the human body. They are particularly prone to getting into the lungs of cystic fibrosis sufferers, with fatal results, but the filthy fungoloid monstrosities occasionally cause "fatal infections in healthy humans".

According to the investigating boffins:

The invasion of black yeasts into our homes represents a potential health risk.

The discovery of this widespread presence of extremophilic fungi in some of our common household appliances suggests that these organisms have embarked on an extraordinary evolutionary process that could pose a significant risk to human health in the future.

That's quite enough for us here on the Reg fungus peril desk. The next time we approach our (or any) dishwasher we shall be clad in a full positive-pressure flameproof atmosphere suit. Having taken the precaution of lobbing a lit Molotov cocktail into the infested machine and slamming the door - to temporarily stun the hive within - we shall rip the entire unit from its attachments and abandon it in an unpopulated area pending the arrival of military forces who can render it safe from a distance using thermobaric warheads.

You can read the terrifying paper Dishwashers – A man-made ecological niche accommodating human opportunistic fungal pathogens online here in the journal Fungal Biology with the relevant subscription. ®

Boost IT visibility and business value

More from The Register

next story
Just TWO climate committee MPs contradict IPCC: The two with SCIENCE degrees
'Greenhouse effect is real, but as for the rest of it ...'
Asteroid's DINO KILLING SPREE just bad luck – boffins
Sauricide WASN'T inevitable, reckon scientists
Flamewars in SPAAACE: cooler fires hint at energy efficiency
Experiment aboard ISS shows we should all chill out for cleaner engines
Brit amateur payload set to complete full circle around PLANET EARTH
Ultralight solar radio tracker in glorious 25,000km almost-space odyssey
NASA Mars rover FINALLY equals 1973 Soviet benchmark
Yet to surpass ancient Greek one, however
Famous 'Dish' radio telescope to be emptied in budget crisis: CSIRO
Radio astronomy suffering to protect Square Kilometre Array
BEST BATTERY EVER: All lithium, all the time, plus a dash of carbon nano-stuff
We have found the Holy Grail (of batteries) - boffins
prev story

Whitepapers

Implementing global e-invoicing with guaranteed legal certainty
Explaining the role local tax compliance plays in successful supply chain management and e-business and how leading global brands are addressing this.
Boost IT visibility and business value
How building a great service catalog relieves pressure points and demonstrates the value of IT service management.
Why and how to choose the right cloud vendor
The benefits of cloud-based storage in your processes. Eliminate onsite, disk-based backup and archiving in favor of cloud-based data protection.
The Essential Guide to IT Transformation
ServiceNow discusses three IT transformations that can help CIO's automate IT services to transform IT and the enterprise.
Maximize storage efficiency across the enterprise
The HP StoreOnce backup solution offers highly flexible, centrally managed, and highly efficient data protection for any enterprise.