Feeds

Acrobatic US driver in 85mph back-seat drunk sex prang

OK sarge, he says his name's 'Mister Tickle'

Beginner's guide to SSL certificates

A court in Virginia must decide just whether it's actually possible to drive a car at 85mph while simultaneously engaging in drunken back-seat sex.

The answer is yes, according to a plaintiff who's filed a claim at Fairfax County Circuit Court for $75,000 damages against the driver who allegedly piled into his vehicle in May last year while over the speed limit, under the influence and on top of a female.

The taxi driver victim of the unnamed boy wonder states in his lawsuit:

  • Paragraph 10: “At the time of the collision, Defendant was going 85 miles per hour.”
  • Paragraph 12: “At the time of the collision, Defendant was having sex with a female.”
  • Paragraph 13: “At the time of the collision, Defendant was driving admittedly drunk.”
  • Paragraph 14: “At the time of the accident, Defendant was partially or totally in the backseat of the car.”

As the Washington Post notes, there is no paragraph 11, so we can only image what outrage has mercifully been excised from the lawsuit.

The case promises top legal entertainment. The defendant, who was apparently convicted of drunk driving in Fairfax district court last year (presumably as a result of the same crash), now improbably says he wasn't driving at all.

Rather than fingering his back-seat squeeze, he says yet another occupant of the car was actually at the wheel - something the mystery third party denies.

You're invited to try and make further sense of all this down at the Washington Post, which has more critical background right here. ®

Internet Security Threat Report 2014

More from The Register

next story
Holy vintage vehicles! Earliest known official Batmobile goes on sale
Riddle me this: are you prepared to pay US$180k?
Criticism of Uber's journo-Data Analytics plan is an Attack on DIGITAL FREEDOM
First they came for Emil – and I'm damn well SPEAKING OUT
'Open source just means big companies can steal your code.' O RLY?
Plus: Flame of the Week returns, for one night only!
'It is comforting to know where your data centres are.' UK.GOV does NOT
Plus: Anons are 'wannabes', KKK says, before being pwned
NEWSFLASH: It's time to ditch dullard Facebook chums
Everything hot in tech, courtesy of avian anchor Regina Eggbert
Hey, you, PHONE-FACE! Kickstarter in-car mobe mount will EMBED your phone into your MUG
Stick it on the steering wheel and wait for the airbag to fire
Bible THUMP: Good Book beats Darwin to most influential tome title
Folio Society crowns fittest of surviving volumes
U wot? Silicon Roundabout set to become Silicon U-BEND
Crap-spouting London upstarts to get permanent road closure
prev story

Whitepapers

Why cloud backup?
Combining the latest advancements in disk-based backup with secure, integrated, cloud technologies offer organizations fast and assured recovery of their critical enterprise data.
Forging a new future with identity relationship management
Learn about ForgeRock's next generation IRM platform and how it is designed to empower CEOS's and enterprises to engage with consumers.
5 critical considerations for enterprise cloud backup
Key considerations when evaluating cloud backup solutions to ensure adequate protection security and availability of enterprise data.
High Performance for All
While HPC is not new, it has traditionally been seen as a specialist area – is it now geared up to meet more mainstream requirements?
Business security measures using SSL
Examines the major types of threats to information security that businesses face today and the techniques for mitigating those threats.