Are we having fun yet?
Despite not quite being the misogynist everyone makes him out to be (it's impossible to even say the word with this much tongue in cheek) Duke Nukem is nonetheless an embarrassing relic of another time. The profanity, sexism and toilet humour – that once provided a refreshing counterpoint to political correctness and two-fingered riposte to videogame detractors – now comes across as extremely stale and dated.
I'm gonna put this smack dab on your ass!
Trapped in the 1980s Zeitgeist, DNF misses an opportunity to instil more contemporary references. After all, unless you're a slobbering, buck-toothed, hillbilly, I'm guessing you're already tired of hearing “squeal Piggy, squeal” well before Duke's done quoting it a dozen times.
DNF also fails to add anything to the on-line play that Duke helped pioneer. Resolutely retro, multiplayer is little more than an unbridled homage to Quake and Unreal Tournament, at the expense of any innovation. Dukematch, Team Dukematch, Capture the Babe, Hail to the King – dress them up in Duke-speak as much as you like, but with tight corridors and cavernous spaces, jump pads, glowing collectible weapons and railguns, you'll feel like you've already played it to death over a decade ago. And if you happen to suffer from a bad case of nostalgia, I still wouldn't recommend it, not when you can head on over to Quake Live for a superior experience for free.
I guess pigs DO fly!
Duke Nukem Forever is the sum of all its flaws – a truly terrible game with almost no redeeming features. It's as if Gearbox simply swept the scraps off 3D Realms' development floor and glued them together into this mess. Graphics, gameplay, narrative, innovation, there's simply nothing to recommend this mangled wreck. Put simply, as The Duke might say, "This game is one ugly motherfucker!" ®
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Duke Nukem Forever
I've been playing the PC version too and I don't think DNF in any way deserves the drubbing it's been getting. Certainly the 360 version apparently has some issues, but I don't think the core game design is as ancient or creaky as reviewers seem to be so keen to claim. If anything I think modern FPS games are more basic than Duke3D ever was.
Sure modern games throw more polygons around the screen, but where are the secret areas? Where's the interactivity? Modern games like COD just funnel you from one shooting gallery to the next. At least DNF breaks things up with driving, platforming and lots of little interactive bits like billiards, pinball, whack-a-mole, etc. I'd much rather play this than any of the endless Modern Warfare clones.
At the end of the day, I think the best way to describe the Duke Nukem Forever reviews is:
haters gonna hate.
Such a stinging review
..and you still gave it 40%?
This should be in the 5% range.
Haters have a point
My copy of DNF ran over my dog, burned my flat down, ran off with my girlfriend and somehow managed to land me with a Daily Mail subscription.
DNF is pure evil in gaming form and we should form a lynch mob to execute everyone at Gearbox for even thinking of making this game.
Or, as a radical idea, those who don't like the game can simply not play it....?
Armchair critics, and the reviewers on this site barely qualify for that description, sure love trashing this game.
I wasn't expecting the next half-life, i was expecting Duke Nukem, with better graphics.
I'm quite enjoying it. And the value of reviewers/critics continues to decline.
"It runs" - If you'd reviewed it before release, they might've picked this for the box quote.