Total Recall rehash – exit Martians, enter Jessica Biel
Hollywood Can Re-imagine It for You Wholesale
Those film fans among you who were sitting in darkened rooms, trembling at the prospect of Hollywood's re-imagining of Paul Verhoeven's 1990 sci-fi romp Total Recall, should rest assured that things look promising for the latest interpretation of Philip K Dick's We Can Remember It for You Wholesale.
First up, Arnold Schwarzenegger has been replaced by Colin Farrell in the role of Douglas Quaid, meaning female leads Jessica Biel and Kate Beckinsale can concentrate on their acting, rather than protecting their shapely backsides from the ex-Governator.
Secondly, the rehash "ditches the Martian storyline from the original pic and instead involves nation states Euromerica and New Shanghai", the Hollywood Reporter explains.
Brit thesp Bill Nighy is in the frame to play resistance leader "Quatto", which will go down well with the gaunt teen demographic, since the actor has "made a name in the geek community playing a vampire ruler in the Underworld movies".
Helmsman Len Wiseman, also of Underworld pedigree, takes responsibility for ensuring that New Shanghai factory worker Quaid's quest to determine whether or not he's a spy, and if so for which side, trumps the cinematic original.
The totally recalled Total Recall starts shooting in June in Toronto. ®
And only last week...
We had a perfectly good list of science fiction films that haven't been made yet.
What is it that makes Hollywood think the best way to make a film is to find a film already released, cut its head off, pee down the hole, stir well, and glue the head back on backwards to make some sort of shambling imbecilic monster? Does no-one in the 'creative industries' actually have any imagination?
Now I know i'm old. FFS, they're remaking movies that were made when I was in my twenties.
Either that or they really are completely out of ideas.
Leave it be!
Seriously this rebooting of old movies has got to stop. The Arnie version is perfect the way it is. The TV series was dull and boring and it sounds like the reboot is just as dull and boring. Plus will there be Jonny Cab?
I could spend all that money to go and see it in the cinema...
or maybe I could just pay someone to inject an artificial memory of having seen the film.
Then at least I will have enjoyed the experience.
How can you mention that Bill Nighy and Len Wiseman are from Underworld, but completely ignore Kate Beckinsale in the film in black leather?
God there's no way I'm going to get any work done today now...