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Brit expats aghast as Denmark bans Marmite

'What am I supposed to put on my toast now?'

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Marmite-loving Brit expats living in Denmark have expressed their shock and dismay at the government's decision to ban the legendary yeast-based spread, on the grounds that it contains "too many vitamins".

The Danish Veterinary and Food Administration has invoked a 2004 law concerning nosh "fortified with added vitamins". According to the Guardian, Marmite has joined Vegemite, Farley's Rusks, Horlicks and Ovaltine on the list of proscribed foodstuffs.

The Daily Mail says the ban demonstrates the "absurdity" of the EU, which can declare Marmite perfectly legal, but can't ram it down Danes' throats.

Absurd it may be, but the decision will have deadly serious consequences for British tastebuds. Shaken ad executive Colin Smith, who's lived in Denmark for six years, said: "What am I supposed to put on my toast now? I still have a bit left in the cupboard, but it's not going to last long."

Yorkshire-born graphic designer Lyndsay Jensen, resident in Copenhagen, reckons the clampdown is less about excess vitamins, and more to do with simple culinary xenophobia. She splendidly thundered: "They don't like it because it's foreign. But if they want to take my Marmite off me, they'll have to wrench it from my cold dead hands."

Jensen said she was already planning to procure supplies of Marmite from abroad, suggesting the delicious prospect of a thriving black-market trade in yeasty black gloop. ®

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