Judgment Day prophet resets doomsday clock
Rapture now 21 October, insists unapologetic Harold Camping
California preacher Harold Camping is unrepentant following his second unsuccessful attempt to predict Judgment Day, and now says true believers should pack their bags for ascension to heaven on 21 October.
Camping's first stab at nailing the Rapture advised Christians to get their earthly affairs in order before 6 September 1994. When the world failed to end, due to a "mathematical error", he reset the clock for last Saturday at 6pm EST.
Christians expecting a rapturous elevation to glory were once again left twiddling their thumbs and their Bibles, but Camping now says he simply misinterpreted the word of God and 21 May "was not really the end of the world but the spiritual beginning of the physical end", as the San Francisco Chronicle explains.
The founder of Family Radio said yesterday: "We're not changing a date at all; we're just learning that we have to be a little more spiritual about this. But on October 21, the world will be destroyed. It won't be five months of destruction. It will come at once."
Speaking to reporters at his Oakland HQ, Camping said Family Radio would now drop its high-profile countdown to the Apocalypse, and concentrate on "religious music and God's word". He said: "We don't need to talk about it anymore. The world has been warned – my it has been warned. We have done our share and the media picked it up. The world has been warned that it is under judgment."
The press failed to extract an apology from Camping for the inconvenience his erroneous interpretations had caused, and he merely commented: "I have never, ever told anyone I'm infallible. But God is infallible."
God's infallibility will surely be some comfort to New Yorker Robert Fitzpatrick, who blew most of his $140k life savings on a poster campaign promoting the end of the world, but was left firmly standing in a drizzly Times Square at 6pm on Saturday, with the jeers of tourists rather than a fanfare of celestial trumpets ringing in his ears. ®
What he says on 22nd
"My bad everyone. It turns out it was all a load of Bronze-age superstition that some of us all took a bit too seriously. Now how about we all stop blowing each other up over who's invisible friend is best and just - y'know - get on."
Well I can dream, can't I?
Lost in translation
Anyone ever read an instruction manual translated from modern Korean into modern English? Laughable aren't they.
Yet the god botherers somehow reckon that a book translated from ancient Hebrew and Aramaic into English via ancient Greek & Latin is somehow the exact word of the sky captain.
Idiots doesn't come close to describing these people
Matthew 24 
The Bible is pretty clear on this kind of stuff . For those not so interested in reading the unabridged passage, a few relevant excerpts:
"… many false prophets will appear and deceive many people … and then the end will come … but about that day or hour no one knows, not even the angels in heaven, nor the Son … that is how it will be at the coming of the Son of Man … you do not know on what day your Lord will come … the Son of Man will come at an hour when you do not expect him …"
So saying the Bible is a load of old shit anyway misses a pertinent point for the people giving this bloke the time of day: the Bible, load of old shit or not, specifically warns against wankers like him.