Feeds

Lock up your lungs, here comes Grimsvotn

Asthmatics on Defcon 4 as Icelandic volcano spews forth

SANS - Survey on application security programs

Experts are warning those of a delicate pulmonary disposition to brace for the fallout from Icelandic volcano Grimsvotn, due to descend on Blighty tomorrow.

The BBC says the British Lung Foundation and Asthma UK have issued a lung Defcon 4, or thereabouts, ahead of the anticipated alien ash invasion.

The British Lung Foundation's Dr Keith Prowse cautioned: "In light of the latest news that ash from the volcanic eruption in Iceland could reach the UK by Tuesday, we would advise people living with a lung condition in affected areas to carry their medication as a precaution."

Erica Evans, of Asthma UK, advised: "We know that volcanic ash can trigger asthma symptoms like coughing, wheezing and shortness of breath. However, as the ash is very high in the atmosphere it does not pose an immediate problem.

"Asthma UK advises people with asthma to monitor the news to see whether the ash cloud moves closer to the UK. People with asthma should make sure they maintain their regular asthma medicine and keep their emergency inhaler on them at all times."

The Beeb unwisely suggests "the impact of the Grimsvotn volcano looks relatively tame" when compared to last year's Eyjafjallajokullageddon. Cue a Europe-wide infrastructure collapse and apocalyptic scenes as panicked citizens act out Pompeii 2: The Darkening Skies. ®

3 Big data security analytics techniques

More from The Register

next story
Spanish village called 'Kill the Jews' mulls rebranding exercise
Not exactly attractive to the Israeli tourist demographic
Sleuths find nosy NORKS drones on the Chinternet
UAVs likely to have been made in the Middle Kingdom
Oz bank in comedy Heartbleed blog FAIL
Bank: 'We are now safely patched.' Customers: 'You were using OpenSSL?'
Och aye! It's the Loch Ness Monster – but only Apple fanbois can see it
Fondleslab-friendly beastie's wake spotted... OR WAS IT?
Dorian Nakamoto gets $23,000 payout over Bitcoin invention saga
Maintains he didn't create cryptocurrency, but will join community
Japanese boffin EYES up big bucks with strap-on digi-glasses
AgencyGlass saddles user with creepy OLED display
Forget the beach 'n' boardwalk, check out the Santa Cruz STEVE JOBS FOUNTAIN
Reg reader snaps shot of touching tribute to Apple icon
Happy 40th Playmobil: Reg looks back at small, rude world of our favourite tiny toys
Little men straddle LOHAN, attend tiny G20 Summit... ah, sweet memories...
prev story

Whitepapers

Securing web applications made simple and scalable
In this whitepaper learn how automated security testing can provide a simple and scalable way to protect your web applications.
Combat fraud and increase customer satisfaction
Based on their experience using HP ArcSight Enterprise Security Manager for IT security operations, Finansbank moved to HP ArcSight ESM for fraud management.
The benefits of software based PBX
Why you should break free from your proprietary PBX and how to leverage your existing server hardware.
SANS - Survey on application security programs
In this whitepaper learn about the state of application security programs and practices of 488 surveyed respondents, and discover how mature and effective these programs are.
3 Big data security analytics techniques
Applying these Big Data security analytics techniques can help you make your business safer by detecting attacks early, before significant damage is done.