The Register® — Biting the hand that feeds IT

Feeds

El Reg iPhone app rated a flaccid 12+

Bootnotes bureau protests 'Mild Sexual Content' slur

Customer Success Testimonial: Recovery is Everything

It won't have escaped your notice that Vulture Central has unleashed a veritable shedload of mobile apps to deliver The Register to a range of devices, including one for the Jesus Phone and iPad.

Well, we at the Bootnotes bureau were horrified to learn the latter is "Rated 12+ for the following:

  • Infrequent/Mild Alcohol, Tobacco, Drug Use or References to these
  • Infrequent/Mild Sexual Content or Nudity
  • Infrequent/Mild Profanity or Crude Humour

We should point out that this classification was chosen by the powers that be down at Reg Towers, in order to avoid a knock on the door by the Apple content police.

Fair enough, but the suggestion that the team who brought you this kind of headline has somehow lost wood is an outrageous slur against those who have dedicated years of their lives to studiously avoiding any mention of IT in frequent references to heavy alcohol, tobacco and drug use by people who frequently shout profanities while naked.

Accordingly, we're off to work on a cunning plan to sneak more pornography onto the iPad, and leave you to ask yourselves if you want your wide-eyed 12-year-old copping an eyeful of this kind of Amazonian filth on the pages of El Reg:

Screen grab from Amazon UK, showing LaCie Cozy Case for 3.5 inch Hard Dick - Red

®

SaaS data loss: The problem you didn’t know you had

Huh

* Infrequent/Mild Alcohol, Tobacco, Drug Use or References to these

* Infrequent/Mild Sexual Content or Nudity

* Infrequent/Mild Profanity or Crude Humour

Those are features if you ask me. Where's the * Infrequent/Mild playmobil re-enactions of carnality?

5
0

Wow

Finally I've found a place to put it!

4
0

Why no comments?

Come on, El Reg - this app is pretty much useless without the ability to even see story comments (never mind add new ones). Until that's sorted, I'll stick with m.theregister.co.uk, thank you

3
0

More from The Register

Soylent days and soylent nights
Food 2.0 fails the post-pub nosh test
Reg hack prepares to live off wondergloop Soylent
Our man puts eating people powder Food 2.0 to the test
Oracle's Ellison outlines plans for Hawaiian Electriclarryland
Solar-sourced eau d'Oracle the key to island revival
 breaking news
Who's to be the next Dr Who? Sherlock beats Maurice - says you
Cumberbatch EXTERMINATES Ayoade, Atkinson, Pegg - and Tilda Swinton
Chewbacca held up by TSA stormtroopers for having light sabre
'Mrauuun' 'Right, Chewie, giant man do need giant cane'
Waving an Eye-of-Sauron pulsating mock cock? STOP IMMEDIATELY
Mains-powered sex aid recalled ... Ultimate O turns into ultimate OH NO
ROBOT COW teaches Saudi kids where milk comes from
Udderly ridiculous bovine intervention is beyond the pail
 breaking news
I told you I'd be back: Arnie set for another career revival
Don't worry voters, Schwarzenegger's talking about Terminator 5
At #guardiancoffee, we can now TASTE THE FUTURE through a PRISM!
I have measured out my life in espresso spoons
Google erases G8 venue from Earth: Microsoft doesn't
Cameron and chums to hold confab in empty field, apparently