Feeds

El Reg iPhone app rated a flaccid 12+

Bootnotes bureau protests 'Mild Sexual Content' slur

Security for virtualized datacentres

It won't have escaped your notice that Vulture Central has unleashed a veritable shedload of mobile apps to deliver The Register to a range of devices, including one for the Jesus Phone and iPad.

Well, we at the Bootnotes bureau were horrified to learn the latter is "Rated 12+ for the following:

  • Infrequent/Mild Alcohol, Tobacco, Drug Use or References to these
  • Infrequent/Mild Sexual Content or Nudity
  • Infrequent/Mild Profanity or Crude Humour

We should point out that this classification was chosen by the powers that be down at Reg Towers, in order to avoid a knock on the door by the Apple content police.

Fair enough, but the suggestion that the team who brought you this kind of headline has somehow lost wood is an outrageous slur against those who have dedicated years of their lives to studiously avoiding any mention of IT in frequent references to heavy alcohol, tobacco and drug use by people who frequently shout profanities while naked.

Accordingly, we're off to work on a cunning plan to sneak more pornography onto the iPad, and leave you to ask yourselves if you want your wide-eyed 12-year-old copping an eyeful of this kind of Amazonian filth on the pages of El Reg:

Screen grab from Amazon UK, showing LaCie Cozy Case for 3.5 inch Hard Dick - Red

®

Providing a secure and efficient Helpdesk

More from The Register

next story
Are you a fat boy? Get to university NOW, you PENNILESS SLACKER
Rotund types paid nearly 20% less than people who didn't eat all the pies
Emma Watson should SHUT UP, all this abuse is HER OWN FAULT
... said an anon coward who we really wish hadn't posted on our website
Japan develops robot CHEERLEADERS which RIDE on BALLS
'Will put smiles on faces worldwide', predicts corporate PR chief
Bruges Booze tubes to pump LOVELY BEER underneath city
Belgian booze pumped from underground
Oz carrier Tiger Air takes terror alerts to new heights
Don't doodle, it might cost you your flight
Amazon: Wish in one hand, Twit in the other – see which one fills first
#AmazonWishList A year's supply of Arran scotch, ta
Let it go, Steve: Ballmer bans iPads from his LA Clippers b-ball team
Can you imagine the scene? 'Hey guys, it's your new owner – WTF is that on your desk?'
Oi, London thief. We KNOW what you're doing - our PRECRIME system warned us
Aye, shipmate, it be just like that Minority Report
prev story

Whitepapers

Forging a new future with identity relationship management
Learn about ForgeRock's next generation IRM platform and how it is designed to empower CEOS's and enterprises to engage with consumers.
Storage capacity and performance optimization at Mizuno USA
Mizuno USA turn to Tegile storage technology to solve both their SAN and backup issues.
The next step in data security
With recent increased privacy concerns and computers becoming more powerful, the chance of hackers being able to crack smaller-sized RSA keys increases.
Security for virtualized datacentres
Legacy security solutions are inefficient due to the architectural differences between physical and virtual environments.
A strategic approach to identity relationship management
ForgeRock commissioned Forrester to evaluate companies’ IAM practices and requirements when it comes to customer-facing scenarios versus employee-facing ones.