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Tout, tout, through and about, your callow life in dismay...

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Badness you can get easily, in quantity

The Director's PA brings the document, passing on the PFY's apologies as he has some urgent work in the basement to attend to.

"Here we go," I say, handing over the document and twisting the knife a little. "You've got to hand it to those document safe people – this thing could have just been printed."

Moments later the sales guys are riding down in the lift with me.

"Well guys it was worth a crack, but don't take it too hard."

"No, we won't," Smooth Guy 1 says. "Though 10 quid says that you've got a bunch of old tin in the basement that's just crapped itself and that your assistant is trying to kick back into life before someone realises."

"No, nothing like that at all."

"Perhaps we should just see," Smooth Guy 2 says, reaching over and pressing the "B2" button.

>ping<

"See. No systems down here," I say, gesturing. "Just my assistant."

>Kzzzzeert< >Kzert< >thud< >thud<

"My assistant and a stun gun to be more precise."

"Oh, sorry. It's my assistant, a stun gun, a hole punch and a 100 watt soldering iron. So I'll just grab that 10 quid you owe me and uh ... be off ..."|

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