Feeds

BOFH: Every silver lining has a cloud

Tout, tout, through and about, your callow life in dismay...

  • alert
  • submit to reddit

Internet Security Threat Report 2014

Badness you can get easily, in quantity

The Director's PA brings the document, passing on the PFY's apologies as he has some urgent work in the basement to attend to.

"Here we go," I say, handing over the document and twisting the knife a little. "You've got to hand it to those document safe people – this thing could have just been printed."

Moments later the sales guys are riding down in the lift with me.

"Well guys it was worth a crack, but don't take it too hard."

"No, we won't," Smooth Guy 1 says. "Though 10 quid says that you've got a bunch of old tin in the basement that's just crapped itself and that your assistant is trying to kick back into life before someone realises."

"No, nothing like that at all."

"Perhaps we should just see," Smooth Guy 2 says, reaching over and pressing the "B2" button.

>ping<

"See. No systems down here," I say, gesturing. "Just my assistant."

>Kzzzzeert< >Kzert< >thud< >thud<

"My assistant and a stun gun to be more precise."

"Oh, sorry. It's my assistant, a stun gun, a hole punch and a 100 watt soldering iron. So I'll just grab that 10 quid you owe me and uh ... be off ..."|

Top 5 reasons to deploy VMware with Tegile

More from The Register

next story
Docker's app containers are coming to Windows Server, says Microsoft
MS chases app deployment speeds already enjoyed by Linux devs
Intel, Cisco and co reveal PLANS to keep tabs on WORLD'S MACHINES
Connecting everything to everything... Er, good idea?
SDI wars: WTF is software defined infrastructure?
This time we play for ALL the marbles
'Urika': Cray unveils new 1,500-core big data crunching monster
6TB of DRAM, 38TB of SSD flash and 120TB of disk storage
Facebook slurps 'paste sites' for STOLEN passwords, sprinkles on hash and salt
Zuck's ad empire DOESN'T see details in plain text. Phew!
Windows 10: Forget Cloudobile, put Security and Privacy First
But - dammit - It would be insane to say 'don't collect, because NSA'
Oracle hires former SAP exec for cloudy push
'We know Larry said cloud was gibberish, and insane, and idiotic, but...'
prev story

Whitepapers

Forging a new future with identity relationship management
Learn about ForgeRock's next generation IRM platform and how it is designed to empower CEOS's and enterprises to engage with consumers.
Win a year’s supply of chocolate
There is no techie angle to this competition so we're not going to pretend there is, but everyone loves chocolate so who cares.
Why cloud backup?
Combining the latest advancements in disk-based backup with secure, integrated, cloud technologies offer organizations fast and assured recovery of their critical enterprise data.
High Performance for All
While HPC is not new, it has traditionally been seen as a specialist area – is it now geared up to meet more mainstream requirements?
Saudi Petroleum chooses Tegile storage solution
A storage solution that addresses company growth and performance for business-critical applications of caseware archive and search along with other key operational systems.