Feeds

Ten... fantasy gadgets you wish you owned

Look to the future

Secure remote control for conventional and virtual desktops

Peril Sensitive Sunglasses - The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy

RH Numbers

The world is dangerous. Terrorists lurk behind every curtain and paedophiles linger at the bus stop. Eating food gives you cancer, and teenage delinquents wait in every park ready to stab you over a mobile phone. Welcome to England. As the Daily Mail describes it, at least. Wouldn't it be great to not worry about any of that stuff? A pair of Joo Janta 200 Super-Chromatic Peril Sensitive Sunglasses would be the solution. At the first hint of trouble, they turn totally black and prevent you from seeing anything alarming. Those "look out" moments will be prevented by.. not looking out.

Peril Sensitive Sunglasses - Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy

Douglas Adams' Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy throws up some schweet pieces of fantasy tech. While an honourable mention should go out to the Babelfish for being the mack daddy of translation tools, the Peril Sensitive Sunglasses were always my favourite. How I long for something to wipe the grim look off paranoid faces of a population terrified by tabloids. I'll keep my fingers crossed. Maybe they could even come free with Saturday's Telegraph. Oh the irony.

In reality, such sunglasses will probably never come to fruition and if they did, it's probable that Sony has already got a patent on them. This year we saw the billboard-blurring Adblock shades appear as an April Fools Joke. Such specs are a fantastic concept that will unfortunately remain a fictional dream for years to come.

Then again, did you ever wonder why Ray Charles always looked so calm? Yes, it could have been the heroin, but I'll go with my gut on this one. Peril Sensitive Sunnies. You know it.

Commercial possibility 10%
More info BBC

Personality glasses - Joe 90

RH Numbers

If you're discontent with your personality, perhaps you should invest in a pair of these? Or at least keep dreaming of the day they're invented. With a pair of Joe 90 glasses on, you may have little choice but to look like a cross between Ronnie Barker and Arthur C Clarke, but you would be able to match the skills of anyone you wished.

A machine called the BIG RAT, aka Brain Impulse Galvanoscope: Record And Transfer, takes the knowledge - captured from brain patterns of various experts - and transfers it to the mind through special spectacles, bringing the skills to anyone who wears them.

Personality glasses - Joe 90

The idea ties in with the concept of implanting memory, another training method seen in various later movies from Brainstorm to The Matrix. It's the sort of experiments that are probably happening right now at Guantanamo, or a highly-secretive underground base in Dulce, New Mexico.

Derren Brown appears to have mastered the art of MKUltra mind-f**kery, coercing the brain into believing false memories. However, to deceive the brain with a computer chip, or even a pair of glasses is a whole next kettle of fish.

If the mind can be misled into believing an ability, could it still achieve without the actual experience? If my brain truly convinced itself, could my feet kick a ball like Lionel Messi? Without getting bogged down in quantum physics and questions of reality, it seems the future is very clouded on this. If it was possible though, how many of us would actually want to be modified with manufactured memories? I suspect that like Joe 90, such glasses would certainly have some strings attached. Yes I'd want the skills, but without the hard work in attaining them, it just wouldn't be the same.

Commercial possibility 20%
More info Joe 90

Choosing a cloud hosting partner with confidence

More from The Register

next story
Oi, Tim Cook. Apple Watch. I DARE you to tell me, IN PERSON, that it's secure
State attorney demands Apple CEO bows the knee to him
4K-ing excellent TV is on its way ... in its own sweet time, natch
For decades Hollywood actually binned its 4K files. Doh!
Phones 4u website DIES as wounded mobe retailer struggles to stay above water
Founder blames 'ruthless network partners' for implosion
DARPA-backed jetpack prototype built to make soldiers run faster
4 Minute Mile project hatched to speed up tired troops
Hey, Mac fanbois. HGST wants you drooling over its HUGE desktop RACK
What vast digital media repository could possibly need 64 TERABYTES?
Apple Pay is a tidy payday for Apple with 0.15% cut, sources say
Cupertino slurps 15 cents from every $100 purchase
Apple's ONE LESS THING: the iPod Classic disappears
RIP 2001 – 2014. MP3 player beloved of millions. Killed by cloud
prev story

Whitepapers

Providing a secure and efficient Helpdesk
A single remote control platform for user support is be key to providing an efficient helpdesk. Retain full control over the way in which screen and keystroke data is transmitted.
WIN a very cool portable ZX Spectrum
Win a one-off portable Spectrum built by legendary hardware hacker Ben Heck
Storage capacity and performance optimization at Mizuno USA
Mizuno USA turn to Tegile storage technology to solve both their SAN and backup issues.
High Performance for All
While HPC is not new, it has traditionally been seen as a specialist area – is it now geared up to meet more mainstream requirements?
Security and trust: The backbone of doing business over the internet
Explores the current state of website security and the contributions Symantec is making to help organizations protect critical data and build trust with customers.