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Japanese boffins build internet kissing machine

Tongue twisting lip locks over IP

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Researches in Japan are hard at work developing an internet-enabled kissing simulator that will allow lovers – or perfect strangers – to reach out and buss someone.

"This device is for communications within the mouth," researcher Nobuhiro Takahashi of the Kajimoto Laboratory at The University of Electro-Communications in Tokyo told DigInfo TV. "In other words, the goal is to obtain the feeling of kissing."

Illustration for Kajimoto Laboratory's 'kissing machine' project

Leering across the intertubes

Takahashi and his fellow researchers' project is boffinistically described on the Laboratory's website – and, in our opinion, rather less-than-alluringly illustrated (right) – as "Development of a kiss-like remote mouth communication device for close relationships".

The research has fully altrusitic intentions, according to the Laboratory. "We propose a novel remote communication device for close relationships like lovers," the project description explains.

"We focus on kisses, since kisses are haptic communications on the mouths that can express deep emotion. We considered that if we mutually present the haptic sensation to each mouth, we can convey the expression of emotion, deepen their relationship."

Pardon us if our less-lofty understanding of tongue tag has never involved the term "haptic communication."

Despite the Laboratory's noble sentiments, Takahashi sees other uses for the recording and playback capabilities of the kiss-like remote mouth communication device. "For example," he says, "if you have a popular entertainer use this devices and record it, that could be hugely popular if you offer it to fans."

The prototype K-LRMCD, unfortunately, is a only a primitive box with a rotating soda straw–like protuberance. "If you take one device in your mouth and turn it with your tongue, the other device turns in the same way. If you turn it back the other way, then your partner's turns back the same way."

To our minds, rotating a straw with our tongues is a long way from a true simulation of lush, loving lip locks. Takahashi agrees that much more needs to be done to enhance the K-LRMCD's stimulatory capabilities. "The elements of a kiss include the sense of taste, the manner of breathing, and the moistness of the tongue," he says. "If we can recreate all of those I think it will be a really powerful device."

The K-LRMCD and its focus on deepening long-distance relationships – and marketing pop-star robo-slobberings – is a newly gentle offshoot of internet-enabled cyber-poke and techno-tickle field of teledildonics. That field of study, complete with conferences and historical overviews, seeks to bypass the traditional eye-to-loins excitation system employed by conventional internet porn with, shall we say, rather more-direct stimulation.

We applaud Takahashi and his team for putting a kinder, gentler face on teledildonic devices such as those detailed by the punning and somewhat painfully named Slashdong (mildly NSFW). ®

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