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I remember that nutbar

"But it's a load of crap! You fill in a questionnaire about the people that annoy you so that some huggy-feely nutbar that HR has contracted to the company can try to make you feel better."

"Yes, I remember that nutbar. And I remember those questions."

"You do?" the PFY asks. "What’d you put down for 'Where are your most difficult people found'?"

"From memory I put '10 metres down, Packington landfill, 20 years from now'."

"And they accepted that?"

"No, they rejected my form at first."

"So how did you get them to accept it?"

"They never got back to me after the first time."

"Because you wore them down?"

"Oh they'd become a 'difficult person' by that stage. Either way I never heard from them again. No one did."

"I have to fill out four pages of questions about my likes and dislikes!" the PFY sniffs. "What did you get for your Professional Development?"

"I've got 'Health and Safety – Identifying dangerous situations'. Apparently the Boss thought that I could pick up some pointers to reduce the number of IT-related workplace accidents. A two-week course!"

"TWO WEEKS Sounds like a nightmare," the PFY says. "Who’s taking it – someone in-house?"

"No, no, it's a compliance thing so it's being taking by some external consultant from the industry. We get a certificate and everything."

"Oooooooooh, a certificate," The PFY says sarcastically. "That'll be one for the glory box. You seem remarkably calm about two weeks of boredom."

"Because I've done the 'dealing with difficult people' course and know that sometimes it's better to embrace a challenge than hide from it. Anyway, I've already met the bloke – he was down in reception so I asked him to pop up and take a look around ..."

>Knock< >Knock<

"... And that'll be him now!"

"Morning," our H&S facilitator chips abruptly, stepping into Mission Control.

"Good to see you again!" I say. "This is my assistant, Stephen. Gosh, what are you – 5 foot 2, 3?"

"Five FOUR!"

"Five four, of course! Ooh look, is that a Macintosh laptop? My assistant loves those. Tell me – what are your feelings on remote con..."

>KZEERT!<

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