Feeds

BOFH: People get annoyed when you try to debug them

Conceal your special gift and do not harness it until the time of the Gathering

  • alert
  • submit to reddit

Application security programs and practises

I remember that nutbar

"But it's a load of crap! You fill in a questionnaire about the people that annoy you so that some huggy-feely nutbar that HR has contracted to the company can try to make you feel better."

"Yes, I remember that nutbar. And I remember those questions."

"You do?" the PFY asks. "What’d you put down for 'Where are your most difficult people found'?"

"From memory I put '10 metres down, Packington landfill, 20 years from now'."

"And they accepted that?"

"No, they rejected my form at first."

"So how did you get them to accept it?"

"They never got back to me after the first time."

"Because you wore them down?"

"Oh they'd become a 'difficult person' by that stage. Either way I never heard from them again. No one did."

"I have to fill out four pages of questions about my likes and dislikes!" the PFY sniffs. "What did you get for your Professional Development?"

"I've got 'Health and Safety – Identifying dangerous situations'. Apparently the Boss thought that I could pick up some pointers to reduce the number of IT-related workplace accidents. A two-week course!"

"TWO WEEKS Sounds like a nightmare," the PFY says. "Who’s taking it – someone in-house?"

"No, no, it's a compliance thing so it's being taking by some external consultant from the industry. We get a certificate and everything."

"Oooooooooh, a certificate," The PFY says sarcastically. "That'll be one for the glory box. You seem remarkably calm about two weeks of boredom."

"Because I've done the 'dealing with difficult people' course and know that sometimes it's better to embrace a challenge than hide from it. Anyway, I've already met the bloke – he was down in reception so I asked him to pop up and take a look around ..."

>Knock< >Knock<

"... And that'll be him now!"

"Morning," our H&S facilitator chips abruptly, stepping into Mission Control.

"Good to see you again!" I say. "This is my assistant, Stephen. Gosh, what are you – 5 foot 2, 3?"

"Five FOUR!"

"Five four, of course! Ooh look, is that a Macintosh laptop? My assistant loves those. Tell me – what are your feelings on remote con..."

>KZEERT!<

Eight steps to building an HP BladeSystem

More from The Register

next story
Sysadmin Day 2014: Quick, there's still time to get the beers in
He walked over the broken glass, killed the thugs... and er... reconnected the cables*
Apple fanbois SCREAM as update BRICKS their Macbook Airs
Ragegasm spills over as firmware upgrade kills machines
SHOCK and AWS: The fall of Amazon's deflationary cloud
Just as Jeff Bezos did to books and CDs, Amazon's rivals are now doing to it
Amazon Reveals One Weird Trick: A Loss On Almost $20bn In Sales
Investors really hate it: Share price plunge as growth SLOWS in key AWS division
EU's top data cops to meet Google, Microsoft et al over 'right to be forgotten'
Plan to hammer out 'coherent' guidelines. Good luck chaps!
US judge: YES, cops or feds so can slurp an ENTIRE Gmail account
Crooks don't have folders labelled 'drug records', opines NY beak
Auntie remains MYSTIFIED by that weekend BBC iPlayer and website outage
Still doing 'forensics' on the caching layer – Beeb digi wonk
Manic malware Mayhem spreads through Linux, FreeBSD web servers
And how Google could cripple infection rate in a second
prev story

Whitepapers

Top three mobile application threats
Prevent sensitive data leakage over insecure channels or stolen mobile devices.
Implementing global e-invoicing with guaranteed legal certainty
Explaining the role local tax compliance plays in successful supply chain management and e-business and how leading global brands are addressing this.
Boost IT visibility and business value
How building a great service catalog relieves pressure points and demonstrates the value of IT service management.
Designing a Defense for Mobile Applications
Learn about the various considerations for defending mobile applications - from the application architecture itself to the myriad testing technologies.
Build a business case: developing custom apps
Learn how to maximize the value of custom applications by accelerating and simplifying their development.