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Modern-day ninja in epic battle with riot police, robot

Swordsman who laughed at bot, gas, baton rounds felled by Taser

Internet Security Threat Report 2014

A man who was plainly an invincible ninja warrior or similar tangled with police in Maryland recently. The sword-wielding scofflaw successfully resisted ordinary meatbag cops, a police robot, gassing with a "chemical agent" and a volley of low-velocity cosh projectiles from a SWAT team before finally succumbing to the crippling electric current of a Taser stun weapon.

The Washington Post reports on the remarkable eight-hour standoff between local lawmen and Michael R Beach, 44, of Edgewater in Maryland. Apparently a sheriff's deputy attempting to serve a court order on Beach was "lunged at" with a sword on arrival, after which Beach retreated into his home.

The traditional gathering of specialist units and SWAT teams ensued, and in due course the plods tried the standard next move – send in the robots. However the tin cop deployed on this occasion "didn't work".

The lawmen then gassed the troubled swordsman with an unspecified "chemical agent" before forcibly entering his stronghold. Here the SWAT team encountered the testy resident, apparently unaffected by the gas, still "clutching his sword". The assault cops then fired "beanbag" non/less-lethal impact rounds at him from riot guns "but he was unaffected" and managed to beat a fighting retreat into his bathroom.

Only two hours later did the cops manage to finally bust into the bathroom and subdue the obstreperous Beach, whose evident proficiency with a sword and ability to shrug off the effects of robots, gas and riot-gun projectiles could easily be ascribed to mastery of one or more exotic Oriental combat philosophy disciplines. The dauntless swordsman was felled by a Taser electrical stun weapon, which uses twin darts to pass a crippling 20,000-volt pulsed electrical current through a victim's body.

The Post reports that after finally being braceleted, Beach was charged with intent to murder in the second degree, assault, reckless endangerment "and related counts". Apparently the only person hurt during the takedown was Beach, who at one point inflicted a slight wound on himself with his sword. ®

Bootnote

We know this story actually happened a couple of weeks ago. But it involves robots, tasers, chemical weapons and a probable ninja, so we couldn't resist it.

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