The Register® — Biting the hand that feeds IT

Feeds

Fired-up eco-boffin gives it '180 per cent'

Leaves 110 per cent footballing lads sick as a parrot

Customer Success Testimonial: Recovery is Everything

Old school football managers are often heard to confess they're "as sick as a parrot" because despite the lads "giving it 110 percent", their team has just taken a severe pasting.

The problem is, 110 per cent just isn't enough of an overcrank for the modern world we live in. The proof comes in the form of environmental scientist Samantha Joye of the University of Georgia.

If Joye were a Spinal Tap Marshall amp's volume knob, she'd go up to 18, as the eco-boffin explains in this piece on the Gulf of Mexico oil spill: "I am somebody who if I believe in something, I give it 180 per cent."

That's an impressive 70 per cent improvement on the best efforts of professional footballers, and a total humiliation for those of us who struggle on a Monday morning to give it a pathetic 30 per cent.

In case you're thinking that Joye's claim to superhuman effort is exceptional, American sportsmen have been pushing the envelope for years. Indeed, way back in 1993, Cleveland Indians outfielder Glenallen Hill insisted he and a teammate were "giving 190 per cent effort".

Not to be outdone, basketball star Karl Malone upped the ante in 2005 when he declared: "I look at basketball as 100 per cent physically and 100 per cent mentally. And if I can't bring you 200 per cent, from me, I can't bring you anything."

Interestingly, 200 per cent appears to be the absolute upper limit of human performance, in which case it's reasonable to suggest the scale is divided by 50 per cent and capped at a peak of 100 per cent. ®

Bootnote

Thanks to Paul Landon for his 210 per cent effort in bringing us this news.

SaaS data loss: The problem you didn’t know you had

One hundred and eiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiighty!

I recently got into an argument with some "online folk" who genuinely believed that "giving 110%" was a valid statement and worthy goal.

They were soon smashed down with something called "reality" and maths but not before one of them pointed out that he won't recruit someone "who only gives 90-100%" because that means "they are cruising". I weep for humanity.

18
0

It all comes down to expectation management

It depends what the 100% baseline is: if your employer expects an 8-hour day, are you giving him (/her) 110% if you work an extra 48 minutes?

Even better, if you can start working expected to do sod all, then "giving 1000%" becomes not only possible, but really rather easy.

Next time someone says they want someone to "give 110%", ask them "of what?"

10
0

Judgemental moi?

The great thing about the '110%' concept is that as soon as someone uses it you can simply disregard anything they ever say.

8
1

More from The Register

Soylent days and soylent nights
Food 2.0 fails the post-pub nosh test
Reg hack prepares to live off wondergloop Soylent
Our man puts eating people powder Food 2.0 to the test
Oracle's Ellison outlines plans for Hawaiian Electriclarryland
Solar-sourced eau d'Oracle the key to island revival
 breaking news
Who's to be the next Dr Who? Sherlock beats Maurice - says you
Cumberbatch EXTERMINATES Ayoade, Atkinson, Pegg - and Tilda Swinton
Chewbacca held up by TSA stormtroopers for having light sabre
'Mrauuun' 'Right, Chewie, giant man do need giant cane'
Waving an Eye-of-Sauron pulsating mock cock? STOP IMMEDIATELY
Mains-powered sex aid recalled ... Ultimate O turns into ultimate OH NO
ROBOT COW teaches Saudi kids where milk comes from
Udderly ridiculous bovine intervention is beyond the pail
 breaking news
I told you I'd be back: Arnie set for another career revival
Don't worry voters, Schwarzenegger's talking about Terminator 5
At #guardiancoffee, we can now TASTE THE FUTURE through a PRISM!
I have measured out my life in espresso spoons
Google erases G8 venue from Earth: Microsoft doesn't
Cameron and chums to hold confab in empty field, apparently