Feeds

Fired-up eco-boffin gives it '180 per cent'

Leaves 110 per cent footballing lads sick as a parrot

Beginner's guide to SSL certificates

Old school football managers are often heard to confess they're "as sick as a parrot" because despite the lads "giving it 110 percent", their team has just taken a severe pasting.

The problem is, 110 per cent just isn't enough of an overcrank for the modern world we live in. The proof comes in the form of environmental scientist Samantha Joye of the University of Georgia.

If Joye were a Spinal Tap Marshall amp's volume knob, she'd go up to 18, as the eco-boffin explains in this piece on the Gulf of Mexico oil spill: "I am somebody who if I believe in something, I give it 180 per cent."

That's an impressive 70 per cent improvement on the best efforts of professional footballers, and a total humiliation for those of us who struggle on a Monday morning to give it a pathetic 30 per cent.

In case you're thinking that Joye's claim to superhuman effort is exceptional, American sportsmen have been pushing the envelope for years. Indeed, way back in 1993, Cleveland Indians outfielder Glenallen Hill insisted he and a teammate were "giving 190 per cent effort".

Not to be outdone, basketball star Karl Malone upped the ante in 2005 when he declared: "I look at basketball as 100 per cent physically and 100 per cent mentally. And if I can't bring you 200 per cent, from me, I can't bring you anything."

Interestingly, 200 per cent appears to be the absolute upper limit of human performance, in which case it's reasonable to suggest the scale is divided by 50 per cent and capped at a peak of 100 per cent. ®

Bootnote

Thanks to Paul Landon for his 210 per cent effort in bringing us this news.

Top 5 reasons to deploy VMware with Tegile

More from The Register

next story
Holy vintage vehicles! Earliest known official Batmobile goes on sale
Riddle me this: are you prepared to pay US$180k?
'Open source just means big companies can steal your code.' O RLY?
Plus: Flame of the Week returns, for one night only!
Bible THUMP: Good Book beats Darwin to most influential tome title
Folio Society crowns fittest of surviving volumes
Microsoft to bring back beloved 1990s super-hit BATTLETOADS!?*
* Or maybe not. It is just a trademark filing, after all
U wot? Silicon Roundabout set to become Silicon U-BEND
Crap-spouting London upstarts to get permanent road closure
Hey, you, PHONE-FACE! Kickstarter in-car mobe mount will EMBED your phone into your MUG
Stick it on the steering wheel and wait for the airbag to fire
NEWSFLASH: It's time to ditch dullard Facebook chums
Everything hot in tech, courtesy of avian anchor Regina Eggbert
Fire fighters call for no-drone zone around bushfires
UAVs can take down water-spaffing 'copters, so firies want them to butt out
prev story

Whitepapers

Choosing cloud Backup services
Demystify how you can address your data protection needs in your small- to medium-sized business and select the best online backup service to meet your needs.
Getting started with customer-focused identity management
Learn why identity is a fundamental requirement to digital growth, and how without it there is no way to identify and engage customers in a meaningful way.
Reg Reader Research: SaaS based Email and Office Productivity Tools
Read this Reg reader report which provides advice and guidance for SMBs towards the use of SaaS based email and Office productivity tools.
Simplify SSL certificate management across the enterprise
Simple steps to take control of SSL across the enterprise, and recommendations for a management platform for full visibility and single-point of control for these Certificates.
Saudi Petroleum chooses Tegile storage solution
A storage solution that addresses company growth and performance for business-critical applications of caseware archive and search along with other key operational systems.