Feeds

Fired-up eco-boffin gives it '180 per cent'

Leaves 110 per cent footballing lads sick as a parrot

High performance access to file storage

Old school football managers are often heard to confess they're "as sick as a parrot" because despite the lads "giving it 110 percent", their team has just taken a severe pasting.

The problem is, 110 per cent just isn't enough of an overcrank for the modern world we live in. The proof comes in the form of environmental scientist Samantha Joye of the University of Georgia.

If Joye were a Spinal Tap Marshall amp's volume knob, she'd go up to 18, as the eco-boffin explains in this piece on the Gulf of Mexico oil spill: "I am somebody who if I believe in something, I give it 180 per cent."

That's an impressive 70 per cent improvement on the best efforts of professional footballers, and a total humiliation for those of us who struggle on a Monday morning to give it a pathetic 30 per cent.

In case you're thinking that Joye's claim to superhuman effort is exceptional, American sportsmen have been pushing the envelope for years. Indeed, way back in 1993, Cleveland Indians outfielder Glenallen Hill insisted he and a teammate were "giving 190 per cent effort".

Not to be outdone, basketball star Karl Malone upped the ante in 2005 when he declared: "I look at basketball as 100 per cent physically and 100 per cent mentally. And if I can't bring you 200 per cent, from me, I can't bring you anything."

Interestingly, 200 per cent appears to be the absolute upper limit of human performance, in which case it's reasonable to suggest the scale is divided by 50 per cent and capped at a peak of 100 per cent. ®

Bootnote

Thanks to Paul Landon for his 210 per cent effort in bringing us this news.

High performance access to file storage

More from The Register

next story
Forget the beach 'n' boardwalk, check out the Santa Cruz STEVE JOBS FOUNTAIN
Reg reader snaps shot of touching tribute to Apple icon
Oz bank in comedy Heartbleed blog FAIL
Bank: 'We are now safely patched.' Customers: 'You were using OpenSSL?'
Happy 40th Playmobil: Reg looks back at small, rude world of our favourite tiny toys
Little men straddle LOHAN, attend tiny G20 Summit... ah, sweet memories...
Lego is the TOOL OF SATAN, thunders Polish priest
New minifigs like Monster Fighters are turning kids to the dark side
Dark SITH LORD 'Darth Vader' joins battle to rule, er, Ukraine
Only I can 'make an empire out of a republic' intones presidential candidate
Chinese company counters pollution by importing fresh air
Citizens line up for bags of that sweet, sweet mountain air
Google asks April Fools: Want a job? Be our 'Pokemon Master'
Mountain View is prankin' like it's 1999...
prev story

Whitepapers

Securing web applications made simple and scalable
In this whitepaper learn how automated security testing can provide a simple and scalable way to protect your web applications.
Five 3D headsets to be won!
We were so impressed by the Durovis Dive headset we’ve asked the company to give some away to Reg readers.
HP ArcSight ESM solution helps Finansbank
Based on their experience using HP ArcSight Enterprise Security Manager for IT security operations, Finansbank moved to HP ArcSight ESM for fraud management.
The benefits of software based PBX
Why you should break free from your proprietary PBX and how to leverage your existing server hardware.
Mobile application security study
Download this report to see the alarming realities regarding the sheer number of applications vulnerable to attack, as well as the most common and easily addressable vulnerability errors.