Feeds

Fired-up eco-boffin gives it '180 per cent'

Leaves 110 per cent footballing lads sick as a parrot

The Power of One Brief: Top reasons to choose HP BladeSystem

Old school football managers are often heard to confess they're "as sick as a parrot" because despite the lads "giving it 110 percent", their team has just taken a severe pasting.

The problem is, 110 per cent just isn't enough of an overcrank for the modern world we live in. The proof comes in the form of environmental scientist Samantha Joye of the University of Georgia.

If Joye were a Spinal Tap Marshall amp's volume knob, she'd go up to 18, as the eco-boffin explains in this piece on the Gulf of Mexico oil spill: "I am somebody who if I believe in something, I give it 180 per cent."

That's an impressive 70 per cent improvement on the best efforts of professional footballers, and a total humiliation for those of us who struggle on a Monday morning to give it a pathetic 30 per cent.

In case you're thinking that Joye's claim to superhuman effort is exceptional, American sportsmen have been pushing the envelope for years. Indeed, way back in 1993, Cleveland Indians outfielder Glenallen Hill insisted he and a teammate were "giving 190 per cent effort".

Not to be outdone, basketball star Karl Malone upped the ante in 2005 when he declared: "I look at basketball as 100 per cent physically and 100 per cent mentally. And if I can't bring you 200 per cent, from me, I can't bring you anything."

Interestingly, 200 per cent appears to be the absolute upper limit of human performance, in which case it's reasonable to suggest the scale is divided by 50 per cent and capped at a peak of 100 per cent. ®

Bootnote

Thanks to Paul Landon for his 210 per cent effort in bringing us this news.

Eight steps to building an HP BladeSystem

More from The Register

next story
NSA man: 'Tell me about your Turkish connections'
Spooks ask Dabbsy to suggest a nice hotel with pool
Carlos: Slim your working week to just three days of toil
'Midas World' vision suggests you retire later, watch more tellie and buy more stuff
Motorist 'thought car had caught fire' as Adele track came on stereo
'FIRE' caption on dashboard prompts dunderheaded hard shoulder halt
Yahoo! Japan! launches! service! for! the! dead!
If you're reading this email, I am no longer alive
Plucky Rockall podule man back on (proper) dry land
Bold, barmy Brit adventurer Nick Hancock escapes North Atlantic islet
Brit Rockall adventurer poised to quit islet
Occupation records broken, champagne corks popped
Accused! Yahoo! exec! SUES! her! accuser!, says! sex! harassment! never! happened!
Allegations were for 'financial gain', countersuit claims
Japanese artist cuffed for disseminating 3D ladyparts files
Printable genitalia fall foul of 'obscene material' laws
prev story

Whitepapers

Top three mobile application threats
Prevent sensitive data leakage over insecure channels or stolen mobile devices.
Implementing global e-invoicing with guaranteed legal certainty
Explaining the role local tax compliance plays in successful supply chain management and e-business and how leading global brands are addressing this.
Boost IT visibility and business value
How building a great service catalog relieves pressure points and demonstrates the value of IT service management.
Designing a Defense for Mobile Applications
Learn about the various considerations for defending mobile applications - from the application architecture itself to the myriad testing technologies.
Build a business case: developing custom apps
Learn how to maximize the value of custom applications by accelerating and simplifying their development.