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Icelandic todger museum acquires human hampton

Local chap makes generous donation

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The Icelandic Phallological Museum last Friday became "probably the only museum in the world to contain a collection of phallic specimens belonging to all the various types of mammal found in a single country", when it took possession of a human penis.

The example of Homo sapien Islandicus's wedding tackle was kindly bequeathed to by 95-year-old Pall Arasson. The ceremonial handover was attended by a large crowd in the fishing village of Húsavík, keen to celebrate the successful conclusion of museum founder Sigurdur Hjartarson's quest to acquire the full set of 46 mammalian members.

Arasson beat off stiff opposition to attain penile immortality. An American, a Brit and a German had also promised their dangly bits, with the Yank sending "a life-size plastic mould of his member, which he calls 'Elmo' in place of the real thing, as part of his pledge to donate".

Arasson was apparently troubled in later years that his bid for "eternal fame" might be compromised by his shrinking schlong. The museum diplomatically declines to say how he measures up to the opposition, including a 1.7 metre-long sperm whale spam javelin, but it's pretty certain he won't be threatened by the 2mm hamster hampton (pictured, somewhere behind the magnifying glass).

Magnifying glass in front of hamster penis exhibit. Pic: M.O/The Icelandic Phallological Museum

Sigurdur Hjartarson got his hands on his first dick – a bull's pizzle – back in 1974. He gradually built up his collection before opening the The Icelandic Phallological Museum in Reykjavik in 1997.

In 2004, the museum upped sticks to Húsavík, where visitors can enjoy the total of 272 specimens from 92 different species of animals. It's open between 20 May and 10 September and easily located by the "large brown phallus near the entrance". ®

Bootnote

Thanks to Mike Richards for the tip-off.

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Yes of course it is

You should probably make a proper expedition to the museums of Northern Iceland - because if you get as far as Hólmavík in the NorthWest you can go and visit the Witchcraft Museum and see their most prized exhibit - a pair of necropants.

What are necropants? I hear you cry.

Well they're for finding gold. To prepare your necropants you have to make an agreement with a friend that he (and it must be a he as you'll see shortly) will help you in the next life. Your friend must then die of natural causes and be buried. Shortly after he's been interred you dig up his body and skin his lower half to make a pair of trousers. Put on your fashionable new pair of strides and place a piece of gold in the erm - handily provided pouch and you will be guided to treasure.

Before satellite TV, I'm sure this must have passed many a long winter's evening on the edge of the Arctic.

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answer

...does it matter whether it's really worth it?

You're going! end of discussion. Whether or not the museum itself is interesting it's one of those things that lets you disgust your mates with the stories...

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"large brown phallus near the entrance".

Does the door have an impressive knob on it too?

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