Feeds

April Fools Day's Finest

Trick or... trick

  • alert
  • submit to reddit

Internet Security Threat Report 2014

Nonsense round-up We hate April Fools Day. It makes story writing here at Vulture Central extra difficult, sifting through the endless fictional nonsense trying to find something interesting - and true.

However, sometimes the gags can be quite amusing. Here are a few I've stumbled across on my story surfs today.

Facebook Status Display T-Shirt

Don't tell me this is real. I'm sure it's possible, but would anyone actually be that much of a loser that they'd walk around with their FaceCrack status on their chest? Perhaps if you're really desperate for a thumbs up, then suits you, sir.

Playmobil Apple Store Playset

OK, now this one is awesome. The Playmobil Apple store from Think Geek, complete with staff, miniature MacBooks and even a man on a Segway, part of the queue accessory pack. It also advertises that you can use your own iPhone 4 as the presentation screen behind the Steve Jobs Playmobil figure. Jokes.

Playmobil Apple Store Playset

Masturbation calms restless leg syndrome

That's what New Scientist said this morning. I guess it could be true, but how would we know? After all, our office is full of leg restlessness and we're all complete stunners that limit our one-handed activities to mouse movements and dumbbells to keep the perfect physique intact. I'm fooling, of course. I'm the only one with a perfect physique here.

Sunglasses that block out advertising

I would certainly invest in a pair of these bad boys if they existed. No advertisements anywhere is the claim. Billboards would be blurry and they'd be a lot of blank pages in the middle of the newspaper. Brilliant.

Virgin purchases Pluto and reinstates its planetary status

Er, no. Richard Branson has not bought Pluto. Although it's only a matter of time, right?

Crabby

World of Warcraft Dungeon Helper tool

Even WoW has been at it today, putting up a dungeon helper tool reminiscent of the talking paperclip we all know from Office Docs. Except this is a crustacean called Crabby. Smells fishy to me.

Firebox has gone flipping mental

Firebox has lost the plot as usual for April Fools Day, but it's enjoyable none the less. Bacon inhaler? Yum, where do I sign up? Cardboard bicycle? Don't think so, but at least it's thinking outside the box.

Bacon inhaler

And finally, the worst attempt at an April Fools Day award goes to…

MCV takes the booby prize for its abysmal attempt to delude readers into thinking clear cellophane packaging could be wrapped over your iPad to offer glasses-free 3D viewing. It was put up yesterday, for starters. Poor attempt, guys. Step it up next year.

That's it, I'm going to put some cling film over the toilet. Yes it may be bad luck at this time of the day, but it will be bad luck for whoever uses the loo next too. I'd get a video for you all, but I don't want to face any Chuck Berry-style consequences for my actions.

If there's any funny April Fools Day nonsense you've come across too today, feel free to share them in the comments below. ®

Internet Security Threat Report 2014

More from The Register

next story
Oi, Tim Cook. Apple Watch. I DARE you to tell me, IN PERSON, that it's secure
State attorney demands Apple CEO bows the knee to him
Phones 4u website DIES as wounded mobe retailer struggles to stay above water
Founder blames 'ruthless network partners' for implosion
Will BlackBerry make a comeback with its SQUARE smartphones?
Plus PC PIMs from company formerly known as RIM
Apple's iPhone 6 first-day sales are MEANINGLESS, mutters analyst
Big weekend queues only represent fruity firm's supply
Hey, Mac fanbois. HGST wants you drooling over its HUGE desktop RACK
What vast digital media repository could possibly need 64 TERABYTES?
Soundbites: News in brief from the Wi-Fi audiophile files
DTS and Sonos sing out but not off the same hymnsheet
prev story

Whitepapers

Providing a secure and efficient Helpdesk
A single remote control platform for user support is be key to providing an efficient helpdesk. Retain full control over the way in which screen and keystroke data is transmitted.
A strategic approach to identity relationship management
ForgeRock commissioned Forrester to evaluate companies’ IAM practices and requirements when it comes to customer-facing scenarios versus employee-facing ones.
Saudi Petroleum chooses Tegile storage solution
A storage solution that addresses company growth and performance for business-critical applications of caseware archive and search along with other key operational systems.
WIN a very cool portable ZX Spectrum
Win a one-off portable Spectrum built by legendary hardware hacker Ben Heck
The next step in data security
With recent increased privacy concerns and computers becoming more powerful, the chance of hackers being able to crack smaller-sized RSA keys increases.