Feeds

April Fools Day's Finest

Trick or... trick

  • alert
  • submit to reddit

Internet Security Threat Report 2014

Nonsense round-up We hate April Fools Day. It makes story writing here at Vulture Central extra difficult, sifting through the endless fictional nonsense trying to find something interesting - and true.

However, sometimes the gags can be quite amusing. Here are a few I've stumbled across on my story surfs today.

Facebook Status Display T-Shirt

Don't tell me this is real. I'm sure it's possible, but would anyone actually be that much of a loser that they'd walk around with their FaceCrack status on their chest? Perhaps if you're really desperate for a thumbs up, then suits you, sir.

Playmobil Apple Store Playset

OK, now this one is awesome. The Playmobil Apple store from Think Geek, complete with staff, miniature MacBooks and even a man on a Segway, part of the queue accessory pack. It also advertises that you can use your own iPhone 4 as the presentation screen behind the Steve Jobs Playmobil figure. Jokes.

Playmobil Apple Store Playset

Masturbation calms restless leg syndrome

That's what New Scientist said this morning. I guess it could be true, but how would we know? After all, our office is full of leg restlessness and we're all complete stunners that limit our one-handed activities to mouse movements and dumbbells to keep the perfect physique intact. I'm fooling, of course. I'm the only one with a perfect physique here.

Sunglasses that block out advertising

I would certainly invest in a pair of these bad boys if they existed. No advertisements anywhere is the claim. Billboards would be blurry and they'd be a lot of blank pages in the middle of the newspaper. Brilliant.

Virgin purchases Pluto and reinstates its planetary status

Er, no. Richard Branson has not bought Pluto. Although it's only a matter of time, right?

Crabby

World of Warcraft Dungeon Helper tool

Even WoW has been at it today, putting up a dungeon helper tool reminiscent of the talking paperclip we all know from Office Docs. Except this is a crustacean called Crabby. Smells fishy to me.

Firebox has gone flipping mental

Firebox has lost the plot as usual for April Fools Day, but it's enjoyable none the less. Bacon inhaler? Yum, where do I sign up? Cardboard bicycle? Don't think so, but at least it's thinking outside the box.

Bacon inhaler

And finally, the worst attempt at an April Fools Day award goes to…

MCV takes the booby prize for its abysmal attempt to delude readers into thinking clear cellophane packaging could be wrapped over your iPad to offer glasses-free 3D viewing. It was put up yesterday, for starters. Poor attempt, guys. Step it up next year.

That's it, I'm going to put some cling film over the toilet. Yes it may be bad luck at this time of the day, but it will be bad luck for whoever uses the loo next too. I'd get a video for you all, but I don't want to face any Chuck Berry-style consequences for my actions.

If there's any funny April Fools Day nonsense you've come across too today, feel free to share them in the comments below. ®

Intelligent flash storage arrays

More from The Register

next story
Nexus 7 fandroids tell of salty taste after sucking on Google's Lollipop
Web giant looking into why version 5.0 of Android is crippling older slabs
All aboard the Poo Bus! Ding ding, route Number Two departing
Only another three days of pooing and I can have a ride!
Heyyy! NICE e-bracelet you've got there ... SHAME if someone were to SUBPOENA it
Court pops open cans of worms and whup-ass in Fitbit case
Official: European members prefer to fondle Apple iPads
Only 7 of 50 parliamentarians plump for Samsung Galaxy S
Fujitsu CTO: We'll be 3D-printing tech execs in 15 years
Fleshy techie disses network neutrality, helmet-less motorcyclists
Space Commanders rebel as Elite:Dangerous kills offline mode
Frontier cops an epic kicking in its own forums ahead of December revival
The IT Crowd's internet in a box gets $240k of crowdcash for a cause
'Outernet' project proposes satellite-fuelled 'Lantern' WiFi library for remote areas
prev story

Whitepapers

Why and how to choose the right cloud vendor
The benefits of cloud-based storage in your processes. Eliminate onsite, disk-based backup and archiving in favor of cloud-based data protection.
A strategic approach to identity relationship management
ForgeRock commissioned Forrester to evaluate companies’ IAM practices and requirements when it comes to customer-facing scenarios versus employee-facing ones.
High Performance for All
While HPC is not new, it has traditionally been seen as a specialist area – is it now geared up to meet more mainstream requirements?
Protecting against web application threats using SSL
SSL encryption can protect server‐to‐server communications, client devices, cloud resources, and other endpoints in order to help prevent the risk of data loss and losing customer trust.
Top 5 reasons to deploy VMware with Tegile
Data demand and the rise of virtualization is challenging IT teams to deliver storage performance, scalability and capacity that can keep up, while maximizing efficiency.