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Lindsay Lohan ditches her surname

Serious blow to El Reg space plane bureau

Internet Security Threat Report 2014

Bespeckled thespiatrix Lindsay Lohan has dealt a serious blow to the El Reg space paper plane bureau by announcing she's going to drop the "Lohan" and emerge as just "Lindsay".

According to her mum Dina, there are two reasons for the rebrand: first up, loads of megacelebs like Oprah and Beyonce thrive on a first-name-only basis; secondly, the family doesn't want anything to do with dad Michael Lohan.

Those of you who actually give a hoot about the Lohan family drama can get more info here. What concerns us, though, is just how this affects the proposed follow-up to our PARIS triumph – provisionally codenamed "LOHAN".

Let's face it, we're going to have a hell of a time trying to get a backronym out of "LINDSAY", so we hereby warn Ms Lohan that if she doesn't reconsider her rash decision, we'll look elsewhere for celebutard inspiration. ®

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