Feeds

Spurned nonagenarian lets rip with semi-automatic

Hell hath no fury like a granny scorned

Intelligent flash storage arrays

A 92-year-old Florida woman refused a kiss by her 53-year-old neighbour responded by pumping four rounds from a semi-automatic pistol into his house.

Marion County Sheriff's department mugshot of Helen StaudingerHelen Staudinger (pictured) of Fort McCoy took a bit of a shine to Dwight Bettner after he moved into a rented pad six months ago. He said: "I've taken her trash out for her, just neighborly stuff. I guess she just took that as something else."

The former law enforcement officer and boilermaker told Marion County Sheriff's deputies that Staudinger had previously threatened to shoot him when he told her he had a girlfriend.

She "didn't follow through" on that occasion, but things got a bit livelier on Monday when she turned up at his house and refused to leave.

According to Bettner, she said: "I want a kiss before I leave." He declined, telling the amorous nonagenarian to to take hike.

Shortly after, while he was on the phone to his dad, Bettner heard shots. One round went through a window, "spraying him with glass". He said: "If my head would have been over just a little bit further, (a bullet) probably would have hit me in the back of the head."

The pistol-packing granny had also fired at his new Mitsubishi 3000GT, a car "that he loved so much", as the incident report touchingly puts it.

Bettner concluded that he'd probably move house. He said: "I just don't need the stress or the hassle. I thought this only happened to younger people."

Staudinger was cuffed on charges of "aggravated assault with a deadly weapon and shooting into a dwelling". She's due before the beak on 26 April, Reuters notes. ®

Internet Security Threat Report 2014

More from The Register

next story
Boffins who stare at goats: I do believe they’re SHRINKING
Alpine chamois being squashed by global warming
Not a loyal follower of @BritishMonarchy? You missed The QUEEN*'s first Tweet
Her Maj opens 'Information Age' at the Science Museum
Space exploration is just so lame. NEW APPS are mankind's future
We feel obliged to point out the headline statement is total, utter cobblers
Down-under record: Australian gets $140k for pussy
'Tiffany' closes deal - 'it's more common to offer your wife', says agent
Internet finally ready to replace answering machine cassette tape
It's a simple message and I'm leaving out the whistles and bells
FedEx helps deliver THOUSANDS of spam messages DIRECT to its Blighty customers
Don't worry Wilson, I'll do all the paddling. You just hang on
The iPAD launch BEFORE it happened: SPECULATIVE GUFF ahead of actual event
Nerve-shattering run-up to the pre-planned known event
Win a year’s supply of chocolate (no tech knowledge required)
Over £200 worth of the good stuff up for grabs
STONER SHEEP get the MUNCHIES after feasting on £4k worth of cannabis plants
Baaaaaa! Fanny's Farm's woolly flock is high, maaaaaan
Adorkable overshare of words like photobomb in this year's dictionaries
And hipsters are finally defined as self-loathing. Sort of
prev story

Whitepapers

Why cloud backup?
Combining the latest advancements in disk-based backup with secure, integrated, cloud technologies offer organizations fast and assured recovery of their critical enterprise data.
A strategic approach to identity relationship management
ForgeRock commissioned Forrester to evaluate companies’ IAM practices and requirements when it comes to customer-facing scenarios versus employee-facing ones.
Security for virtualized datacentres
Legacy security solutions are inefficient due to the architectural differences between physical and virtual environments.
Reg Reader Research: SaaS based Email and Office Productivity Tools
Read this Reg reader report which provides advice and guidance for SMBs towards the use of SaaS based email and Office productivity tools.
New hybrid storage solutions
Tackling data challenges through emerging hybrid storage solutions that enable optimum database performance whilst managing costs and increasingly large data stores.