Duke Nuke goes misogynistic for multiplayer
Gaffes for slaps
As we get closer to the much-anticipated release of Duke Nukem Forever, it's inevitable to be fed more and more details on the game's features.
Today, four DNF multiplayer modes have been revealed: Dukematch, Team Dukematch, Capture the Babe and Hail to the King.
While the 'Dukematch' gamemodes should be self explanatory and 'Hail to the King' is a reworking of classic King of the Hill mode, 'Capture the Babe' comes with a smidgin of controversy.
As you can imagine, it's basically 'Capture the Flag' with a grab the woman twist to it. The difference being, she'll start to freak out as you carry her back to your base, and in order to shut her up, you have to slap her around a bit. Hmmm...
Multiplayer, which is for up to eight players with Dukes wearing red or blue shirts, will feature ten maps, including a remake of the Duke Burger level. How nostalgic.
Experience points will be awarded for killing other players, which can be used to customise your Duke. We'll see the return of Holoduke, Steroids and the Shrinker as well as many popular weapons. There will also be an opportunity to use a Jetpack.
Say what you will about DNF's single-player mode - which features sapphic schoolgirls and erotic toys - but multiplayer looks a real gem - apart from the slapping, mind - and I can't wait to rip my friends a new one. Mess with the best, die like the rest. ®
The reason this idea bothers me is that if they are still in school now, they were probably born when the original Duke Nukem 3D was released. Indeed, not only is the Duke old enough to be their father, given what we know of his character there's a good chance he actually is their father.
Maybe the "capture the girl" game will be more about Duke trying to persuade his wayward teenage daughter to come home because she has been grounded. Wholesome stuff.
"He thought ripping the aliens a new one was tough, but now Duke Nukem has to deal with the one problem he can't solve with guns: Fatherhood."
Perhaps he'll learn some valuable lessons about gender equality along the way...
Misogynistic Duke Nukem SHOKER!
Duke Nukem features misogynistic twists!
In other news, the sky is blue.
You know, though I have long bored of FPS's, I might try this game just for its gleeful male chauvinism. Really, it's so over-the-top, no-one could take it seriously for a moment – right?
The Daily Hate? Nah, I await the Currant Bun getting in a strop over it.
"It makes young boys objectify women, seeing them as weak and little more than sex objects. Innit?" Many 23,36,28,34 (in pink thong).
Got nothing against the idea of a misogynistic lead myself ("Bond" anyone?) What would be cool would be a mod where you could have "Daisy Duke" Nukem run around and save the blokes. Would satisfy the misandrists out there.
Then a further mod where "Daisy Duke" saves the girls and where Duke saves the boys. The pink pound buys games too y'know.
I draw the line at either of the dukes saving sheep. That's just sick.
Daily Mail readers will take it very seriously indeed.
On the other hand - why do the developers think its a good idea to have to slap the babe? Are they all virginal morons who spent too much time on YouPorn?? Doesn't seem to be any excuse for it really, just headline grabbing marketing shite.
re: Pink pound buys fps
Cue "camper" jokes in 5, 4, 3..