The Register® — Biting the hand that feeds IT

Feeds

Penthouse pokes punters in eye with 3D smut

Mounting excitement at TV channel launch

NSFW Veteran smutmonger Penthouse has announced the launch of a 3D TV service described as "the first Pan European 3D formatted adult channel".

Penthouse 3D will be putting out porn as of today between 22:00 GMT and 04:00 GMT from "ASTRA 3B, 23, 5 Degrees East", although there's no word on which providers will be handling the delicate matter of actually delivering the eye-popping smut to punters.

Marc Bell, big swinging dick of Penthouse owner FriendFinder Networks, enthused: "We are very excited about the launch of the Penthouse 3D channel. Our goal is always to deliver the latest technology on the world's best platform."

Jacky Wauters, head of Penthouse distributor NOA Productions, joined the love-in, saying: "Thanks to the increasing consumer acceptance of 3D, I am delighted to work with Penthouse to be able to satisfy the needs of the consumers and broadcasters alike who demand high quality, cutting edge entertainment backed by a solid and well established brand like Penthouse."

Penthouse originally announced it'd be launching 3D porn in the US in the second quarter of this year, but has obviously decided to come early over European viewers.

Here's its strictly NSFW teaser for 3D rumpy-pumpy, released at the end of January. Note the really impressive pumpkins around 30 seconds in:

®

Shocking

Did you see the quality of the pointing on the wall at 1m30s. Get you sacked that would.

2
0

Meh

I'm looking forward to a nice nature channel instead, with a wide angle view of a range of peaks or perhaps the Grand Canyon.

1
0

My Eye's My eyes!

So now porn really can send you blind. Someone needs to warn them about the perils of red clothing with colour separated stereo!

1
0
Anonymous Coward

Is it because ...

I'm a photosensitive epileptic that I see my local barmaid's tits in 3D without having to wear special glasses?

0
0

the internet is for porn

Unfortunately, this isn't good enough to be classed as porn.

Paris, for all the usual reasons.

0
0

More from The Register

Android is a mess and needs sprucing up, admits chief
Can Google really fix it? It isn't in control any more
New Lumia 925: This, loyalists, is the BIG ONE you've waited for
Nokia veep drills high-end master plan for El Reg
Android device? Ooohhhh, you mean a Samsung phone
Koreans nabbed nearly all the Q1 profits – more even than Google
Review: HP Pavilion 14 Chromebook
All roads lead to Chrome?
Borked your iDevice? Pay EVEN MORE to have it fixed by Applecare
Or scream at their hapless techies on their forums
Euro PC shipments plummet into bottomless pit of DOOOOM
11th quarter of decline, 20pc drop on last year - Gartner
Report: AT&T dropping Facebook phone after dismal sales
Turns out folks won't buy that for a dollar