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Julian Assange™ applies to trademark himself

Also time-travels to 1970s, stars in politically-incorrect sitcom

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Cross-dressing, occasionally smelly man-child webmaster Julian Assange - catapulted to global fame after publishing colossal amounts of classified-yet-humdrum US government data - has applied for a UK trademark on his own name.

The filing, submitted two weeks ago by Assange's London lawyers, can be viewed at the UK intellectual property office here. It applies for a trademark on Julian Assange™ covering the following goods or services:

Public speaking services; news reporter services; journalism; publication of texts other than publicity texts; education services; entertainment services.

It also lists Assange™'s residence country as the UK, a matter which is yet to be determined. Swedish prosecutors have requested his extradition in order to interrogate him with regard to allegations of sexual misconduct made against the globe-trotting internet impresario by two women there: he is originally from Australia. The latest decision by the British courts is to grant the Swedish request, though it is not yet clear whether this is final.

Meanwhile Bradley Manning, the US army private who allegedly supplied the great bulk of interesting information published by Assange™'s website Wikileaks, remains in military custody in Virginia. He faces severe penalties if convicted on multiple charges of lifting information from classified US computer networks to which he had access while serving as a junior intelligence analyst in Iraq.

Thus far the US has made no legal move against Assange™ himself, possibly because reports have it that US investigators are unable to show to a high standard of proof just how Wikileaks obtained the files. Thus it would be difficult to charge Assange™ with espionage, as has been suggested by some US politicians - which could lead to an extradition request by the US. The threat of such a request has been repeatedly brought up by Assange™'s London lawyers, though on the face of it the USA would probably have a harder time getting hold of their client if he were back in Sweden.

Provided that nobody contests Assange™'s trademark application, it will be granted following formal advert next month on 4 May.

There is always some chance that it might be disallowed on the grounds that with this application the word "assange" has become a verb: To assange, to disappear suddenly up one's own arse or ass eg "Before the Swedish police could apply their handcuffs, Julian assanged with a loud plopping sound, reappearing moments later in London."

Alternatively, it could be claimed that Assange™ is plainly no more than a shoddy copy of someone else. ®

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