Feeds

Man found guilty of battery after ejaculating in co-worker's drink

'For me it's a release. I think about my wife'

Internet Security Threat Report 2014

A California man faces up to a year inside after being found guilty of two counts of misdemeanor battery for ejaculating into a colleague's water bottle.

Michael Kevin Lallana faces additional aggro after the jury backed a "sentencing enhancement allegation" that he committed said misdemeanours for "sexual gratification".

Lallana, 32, and the victim, ID'd as Tiffany G, worked together at Northwestern Mutual Financial Network, NBC reports.

The victim testified that one Monday last year she took a swig from her waterbottle, having it left it at the office over the weekend. She apparently noticed a foul taste reminiscent of semen and disposed of it.

After the pair were moved to a different office she had a similar taste experience, and this time took the bottle for testing. Tests revealed the presence of semen, the firm opened an investigation and the police became involved.

Lallana admitted he'd added his fluids to the water, because "her lips had touched it" adding, "for me it's a release. I think about my wife." At the same time, he admitted, he found Tiffany attractive.

Lallana's attorney is pondering an appeal on the basis no crime was committed: "He committed an outrageous, egregious act, but to have battery, you have to have an application of force."

Tiffany apparently burst into tears after a verdict, prompting a sherriff's deputy to bring her tissues. ®

Top 5 reasons to deploy VMware with Tegile

More from The Register

next story
Win a year’s supply of chocolate (no tech knowledge required)
Over £200 worth of the good stuff up for grabs
Facebook's Zuckerberg in EBOLA VIRUS FIGHT: Billionaire battles bug
US Centers for Disease Control and Prevention contacted as site supremo coughs up
Red Bull does NOT give you wings, $13.5m lawsuit says so
Website letting consumers claim $10 cash back crashes after stampede
Down-under record: Australian gets $140k for pussy
'Tiffany' closes deal - 'it's more common to offer your wife', says agent
Internet finally ready to replace answering machine cassette tape
It's a simple message and I'm leaving out the whistles and bells
Swiss wildlife park serves up furry residents to visitors
'It's ecological' says spokesman, now how would you like your Bambi done?
The iPAD launch BEFORE it happened: SPECULATIVE GUFF ahead of actual event
Nerve-shattering run-up to the pre-planned known event
Space exploration is just so lame. NEW APPS are mankind's future
We feel obliged to point out the headline statement is total, utter cobblers
STONER SHEEP get the MUNCHIES after feasting on £4k worth of cannabis plants
Baaaaaa! Fanny's Farm's woolly flock is high, maaaaaan
prev story

Whitepapers

Forging a new future with identity relationship management
Learn about ForgeRock's next generation IRM platform and how it is designed to empower CEOS's and enterprises to engage with consumers.
Win a year’s supply of chocolate
There is no techie angle to this competition so we're not going to pretend there is, but everyone loves chocolate so who cares.
Why cloud backup?
Combining the latest advancements in disk-based backup with secure, integrated, cloud technologies offer organizations fast and assured recovery of their critical enterprise data.
High Performance for All
While HPC is not new, it has traditionally been seen as a specialist area – is it now geared up to meet more mainstream requirements?
Saudi Petroleum chooses Tegile storage solution
A storage solution that addresses company growth and performance for business-critical applications of caseware archive and search along with other key operational systems.