Feeds

Latvian film fan pops cap in loud popcorn eater

Black Swan enlivened by mastication-provoked slaying

Choosing a cloud hosting partner with confidence

Updated Latvian cops cuffed a 27-year-old man on Saturday for allegedly popping a cap in a fellow cinemagoer for eating popcorn too loudly during a screening of Black Swan.

According to a report by local news agency Leta, regurgitated in the Guardian, the 42-year-old victim died of wounds sustained during a screening of the terpsichorean angstfest starring Natalie Portman.

Following a brief discussion over the offending popcorn, the shooter whipped out a "legally registered" piece and ensured that never again would Riga's Forum cinema complex be forced to suffer offensive mastication.

The perp is apparently "a graduate of the police academy who holds a doctorate in law from the University of Latvia". As an evident fan of the divine Ms Portman, we can only suggest his legal judgment and ammunition would have been better spent dispensing justice to those responsible for forcing the poor girl to participate in The Phantom Menace. ®

Update

We're obliged to a Latvian reader for clarifying that the shooter was actually the one eating crisps in a disorderly fashion when the victim complained. The former waited until the end of the movie before making his fatal move, at which point he was overpowered by other audience members until cops arrived. We have no information on the flavour of the crisps.

Beginner's guide to SSL certificates

More from The Register

next story
Holy vintage vehicles! Earliest known official Batmobile goes on sale
Riddle me this: are you prepared to pay US$180k?
Bible THUMP: Good Book beats Darwin to most influential tome title
Folio Society crowns fittest of surviving volumes
'Open source just means big companies can steal your code.' O RLY?
Plus: Flame of the Week returns, for one night only!
U wot? Silicon Roundabout set to become Silicon U-BEND
Crap-spouting London upstarts to get permanent road closure
Hey, you, PHONE-FACE! Kickstarter in-car mobe mount will EMBED your phone into your MUG
Stick it on the steering wheel and wait for the airbag to fire
NEWSFLASH: It's time to ditch dullard Facebook chums
Everything hot in tech, courtesy of avian anchor Regina Eggbert
'It is comforting to know where your data centres are.' UK.GOV does NOT
Plus: Anons are 'wannabes', KKK says, before being pwned
Criticism of Uber's journo-Data Analytics plan is an Attack on DIGITAL FREEDOM
First they came for Emil – and I'm damn well SPEAKING OUT
prev story

Whitepapers

Why and how to choose the right cloud vendor
The benefits of cloud-based storage in your processes. Eliminate onsite, disk-based backup and archiving in favor of cloud-based data protection.
Getting started with customer-focused identity management
Learn why identity is a fundamental requirement to digital growth, and how without it there is no way to identify and engage customers in a meaningful way.
Reg Reader Research: SaaS based Email and Office Productivity Tools
Read this Reg reader report which provides advice and guidance for SMBs towards the use of SaaS based email and Office productivity tools.
The Heartbleed Bug: how to protect your business with Symantec
What happens when the next Heartbleed (or worse) comes along, and what can you do to weather another chapter in an all-too-familiar string of debilitating attacks?
Top 5 reasons to deploy VMware with Tegile
Data demand and the rise of virtualization is challenging IT teams to deliver storage performance, scalability and capacity that can keep up, while maximizing efficiency.