Feeds

Florida lag packs prison survival kit up jacksie

Deputies extract pills, cig, matches, syringe, paperwork kitchen sink

Choosing a cloud hosting partner with confidence

A Florida lag was last week relieved of the substantial prison surival kit he attempted to smuggle into Sarasota County jail in the time-honoured manner - packed in a condom up his jacksie.

Police mugshot of Neil LansingOn Friday, homeless Neil Lansing, 33, was hauled before a judge on an unspecified charge, and promptly dispatched to prison. There, "corrections deputies conducting a routine search in a cellblock found part of a condom sticking out of his rectum", the local Herald-Tribune explains.

Lansing's determination to cram as much as possible where the sun don't shine was clearly his undoing, since we doubt even the most experienced lag's rectum can successfully keep "17 round blue pills*, one cigarette, six matches, one flint, one empty syringe with an eraser over the needle, one lip balm container, one additional unused condom, a receipt from CVS pharmacy and a paper coupon" hidden from screws' experienced eyes.

Lansing now faces charges of possession of "a drug and a tobacco product" inside the jail. ®

Bumnote

*Not Viagra, we assume, since they're lozenge-shaped. Evidently, Lansing wasn't planning on doing some really hard time. What?

Security for virtualized datacentres

More from The Register

next story
Every billionaire needs a PANZER TANK, right? STOP THERE, Paul Allen
Angry Microsoftie hauls auctioneers to court over stalled Pzkw. IV 'deal'
WRISTJOB LOVE BONANZA: justWatch sex app promises blind date hookups
Mankind shuffles into the future, five fingers at a time
Apple's Mr Havisham: Tim Cook says dead Steve Jobs' office has remained untouched
'I literally think about him every day' says biz baron's old friend
Flaming drone batteries ground commercial flight before takeoff
Passenger had Something To Declare, instead fiddled while plane burned
Cops apologise for leaving EXPLOSIVES in suitcase at airport
'Canine training exercise' SNAFU sees woman take home booming baggage
prev story

Whitepapers

Providing a secure and efficient Helpdesk
A single remote control platform for user support is be key to providing an efficient helpdesk. Retain full control over the way in which screen and keystroke data is transmitted.
Saudi Petroleum chooses Tegile storage solution
A storage solution that addresses company growth and performance for business-critical applications of caseware archive and search along with other key operational systems.
Security and trust: The backbone of doing business over the internet
Explores the current state of website security and the contributions Symantec is making to help organizations protect critical data and build trust with customers.
Reg Reader Research: SaaS based Email and Office Productivity Tools
Read this Reg reader report which provides advice and guidance for SMBs towards the use of SaaS based email and Office productivity tools.
Security for virtualized datacentres
Legacy security solutions are inefficient due to the architectural differences between physical and virtual environments.