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Pitiless teen burglar murders three witnesses

Dead fish don't talk

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An Illinois teenager is facing residential burglary and cruelty to animals raps after killing a trio of potential witnesses to an Arlington Heights burglary - three goldfish.

On 24 January, the unnamed 16-year-old and two accomplices, aged 15 and 17, targeted an apartment in a block which had been evacuated following a fire on 19 January. Police say they "pried open a door and stole a video game system, CD player, 30 video games, 30 DVDs, a BB gun, jewelry and a safe".

When the residents returned, they discovered "hot sauce, mustard, ketchup and spices had been poured into their fish tank and three goldfish floating at the top", the local Daily Herald reports.

The perps were subsequently cuffed and the fish-killer admitted the motive for the slaughter.

Sgt Mike Hernandez of the Arlington Heights Police Department explained: “As a matter of fact, it’s a little disturbing. According to the police report, he looked at the fish tank and said ‘We can’t leave any witnesses.’”

Cops were able to track some of the cold-hearted killers' stolen booty to local pawn shops, Hernandez noted. The three now face trial in juvenile court. ®

Bootnote

The court should show the perp a degree of mercy for not falling for the myth that goldfish have a memory measured in seconds. They can apparently recall stuff for up to three months, making the victims in this case potential key prosecution witnesses.

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