Coming soon: Die Hard 5 - The Zimmer Frame
Bruce Willis dusts off the arthritis tablets
Since he's no longer required to save Earth from asteroid armageddon, Bruce Willis has been checking out potential helmsmen for Die Hard 5 - The Zimmer Frame.
Actually, we made that last bit of the title up, since any suggestion that Willis is too geriatric to reprise his role as John McClane would doubtless be a matter for a pack of attack lawyers dressed in sweat-stained cotton vests.
What is probably true, though, is that Noam Murro will direct the fifth outing in the Die Hard franchise, penned by Skip Woods of A-Team, Wolverine and X-Men Origins fame.
Cue Willis exiting his retirement home with a .45 to save humanity from a stereotypical pyscho Brit before arriving home in time for Xmas with his daughter, while his estranged Italian wife stirs Gennaro-brand pasta sauce and ponders whether "Rumer" and "Scout LaRue" would really benefit from a prepartum outing on the cover on Vanity Fair. ®
Die Hard and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull
Shia LaBeouf stars as Bruce Willis's estranged son, and single handedly manages to destroy yet another multi-million pound franchise?
Re: The originals weren't exactly realistic either
Realistic isn't the point. Die Hard and Raiders are both absolutely brilliant films on their own terms in a way that makes any nitpicking null and void.
I couldn't give a crap about Die Hard 4 - I stopped watching when Kevin Smith's stupid face hove into view - but Crystal Skull made me quite cross. Now I pretend it was all just a bad collective hallucination.
Die Hard 4, and why I hate it
Accurately surmised here