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One third of Russians say Sun revolves round Earth

'Quite amazing', admits heliocentric pollster

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Those of you brought up in the heliocentric tradition are advised to look away now, because a poll has revealed that one-third of Russians favour the Ptolemaic model of our solar system.

A shaken spokeswoman for state pollster VsTIOM admitted on Friday that a survey of 1,600 across Russia confirmed the worst: 32 per cent of citizens reckon the Sun revolves around the Earth.

In a further blow to the Russian education system, 29 per cent confidently stated that the first humans, presumably clad like Raquel Welch in animal skin bikinis, battled the dinosaurs for control of the solar system's centre.

In response to a moderately more challenging question, 55 per cent of Russians asserted that "all radioactivity is man-made".

The aforementioned spokeswoman, Olga Kamenchuk, gasped: "It's really quite amazing.

"All of [the questions] were absolutely obvious ... the data speaks of the low levels of education in the country."

Kamenchuk did, though, concede that people who weren't required in their everyday lives to routinely answer posers such as "Did humans evolve while the dinosaurs were still alive?", might be forgiven for forgetting the correct answer.

The poll has a 3.4 per cent margin of error, Reuters notes, so the results could be slightly less sobering, or a tad more terrifying. ®

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