Feeds

Big stink over Malawi farting ban

Solicitor general challenges trouser cough clampdown

Combat fraud and increase customer satisfaction

Officials in Malawi have locked horns over the controversial ban on farting in public.

The prohibition forms part of the Local Courts Bill, due for introduction next week. The legislation has the backing of justice minister George Chaponda, who said the clampdown on unruly bowels would promote "public decency".

According to the BBC, Chaponda did some straight talking on local Capital Radio's Straight Talk programme when he declared: "Just go to the toilet when you feel like farting."

As Chaponda sees it, the law will be enforced in a similar way to that banning public urination, with local chiefs tasked with bringing noxious gasbags to justice.

However, the minister has been challenged by solicitor general Anthony Kamanga, who reckons Chaponda's interpretation of the offending Local Courts Bill clause is taking the piss.

Said clause declares: "Any person who vitiates the atmosphere in any place so as to make it noxious to the public to the health of persons in general dwelling or carrying on business in the neighbourhood or passing along a public way shall be guilty of a misdemeanour."

Kamanga asserts that this refers to pollution. He said: "How any reasonable or sensible person can construe the provision to criminalising farting in public is beyond me."

Whether Malawi becomes the first nation to outlaw the trouser cough remains to be seen, but things are certainly looking rough for flatulent bogus soothsayers, since the Local Courts Bill also intends to come down hard on anyone pretending to be a fortune teller.

Real fortune tellers are, accordingly, advised to write the eventual outcome of the Chaponda/Kamanga stink on a piece of paper, seal it in an envelope and hand it to their solicitor for later presentation to tribal chiefs as evidence of their divinatory powers. ®

High performance access to file storage

More from The Register

next story
Spanish village called 'Kill the Jews' mulls rebranding exercise
Not exactly attractive to the Israeli tourist demographic
Oz bank in comedy Heartbleed blog FAIL
Bank: 'We are now safely patched.' Customers: 'You were using OpenSSL?'
Happy 40th Playmobil: Reg looks back at small, rude world of our favourite tiny toys
Little men straddle LOHAN, attend tiny G20 Summit... ah, sweet memories...
Forget the beach 'n' boardwalk, check out the Santa Cruz STEVE JOBS FOUNTAIN
Reg reader snaps shot of touching tribute to Apple icon
Lego is the TOOL OF SATAN, thunders Polish priest
New minifigs like Monster Fighters are turning kids to the dark side
Dark SITH LORD 'Darth Vader' joins battle to rule, er, Ukraine
Only I can 'make an empire out of a republic' intones presidential candidate
Chinese company counters pollution by importing fresh air
Citizens line up for bags of that sweet, sweet mountain air
Google asks April Fools: Want a job? Be our 'Pokemon Master'
Mountain View is prankin' like it's 1999...
prev story

Whitepapers

Securing web applications made simple and scalable
In this whitepaper learn how automated security testing can provide a simple and scalable way to protect your web applications.
3 Big data security analytics techniques
Applying these Big Data security analytics techniques can help you make your business safer by detecting attacks early, before significant damage is done.
The benefits of software based PBX
Why you should break free from your proprietary PBX and how to leverage your existing server hardware.
Top three mobile application threats
Learn about three of the top mobile application security threats facing businesses today and recommendations on how to mitigate the risk.
Combat fraud and increase customer satisfaction
Based on their experience using HP ArcSight Enterprise Security Manager for IT security operations, Finansbank moved to HP ArcSight ESM for fraud management.