Feeds

Big stink over Malawi farting ban

Solicitor general challenges trouser cough clampdown

The essential guide to IT transformation

Officials in Malawi have locked horns over the controversial ban on farting in public.

The prohibition forms part of the Local Courts Bill, due for introduction next week. The legislation has the backing of justice minister George Chaponda, who said the clampdown on unruly bowels would promote "public decency".

According to the BBC, Chaponda did some straight talking on local Capital Radio's Straight Talk programme when he declared: "Just go to the toilet when you feel like farting."

As Chaponda sees it, the law will be enforced in a similar way to that banning public urination, with local chiefs tasked with bringing noxious gasbags to justice.

However, the minister has been challenged by solicitor general Anthony Kamanga, who reckons Chaponda's interpretation of the offending Local Courts Bill clause is taking the piss.

Said clause declares: "Any person who vitiates the atmosphere in any place so as to make it noxious to the public to the health of persons in general dwelling or carrying on business in the neighbourhood or passing along a public way shall be guilty of a misdemeanour."

Kamanga asserts that this refers to pollution. He said: "How any reasonable or sensible person can construe the provision to criminalising farting in public is beyond me."

Whether Malawi becomes the first nation to outlaw the trouser cough remains to be seen, but things are certainly looking rough for flatulent bogus soothsayers, since the Local Courts Bill also intends to come down hard on anyone pretending to be a fortune teller.

Real fortune tellers are, accordingly, advised to write the eventual outcome of the Chaponda/Kamanga stink on a piece of paper, seal it in an envelope and hand it to their solicitor for later presentation to tribal chiefs as evidence of their divinatory powers. ®

Build a business case: developing custom apps

More from The Register

next story
Cops baffled by riddle of CHICKEN who crossed ROAD
'Officers were unable to determine Chicken's intent'
MEN WANTED to satisfy town full of yearning BRAZILIAN HOTNESS
'Prettier, better organised, more harmonious than if men were in charge'
Yes, but what are your plans if a DRAGON attacks?
Local UK gov outs most ridiculous FoI requests...
Drunkards warned: If you can't walk in a straight line, don't shop online, you fool!
Put it away boys. Cover them up ladies. Your credit cards, we mean
Why your mum was WRONG about whiffy tattooed people
They're a future source of RENEWABLE ENERGY
Murder accused DIDN'T ask Siri 'how to hide my roommate'
US court hears of cached browser image - not actual request
Chomp that sausage: Brits just LOVE scoffing a Full Monty
Sales of traditional brekkie foods soar as hungry folk get their mitts greasy
prev story

Whitepapers

A new approach to endpoint data protection
What is the best way to ensure comprehensive visibility, management, and control of information on both company-owned and employee-owned devices?
Implementing global e-invoicing with guaranteed legal certainty
Explaining the role local tax compliance plays in successful supply chain management and e-business and how leading global brands are addressing this.
Maximize storage efficiency across the enterprise
The HP StoreOnce backup solution offers highly flexible, centrally managed, and highly efficient data protection for any enterprise.
How modern custom applications can spur business growth
Learn how to create, deploy and manage custom applications without consuming or expanding the need for scarce, expensive IT resources.
Next gen security for virtualised datacentres
Legacy security solutions are inefficient due to the architectural differences between physical and virtual environments.