Wrinkle-faced smartphoners demand 'BlackBerry Botox'
The facial perils of excessive squinting
Those of you who feel in need of a further bit of evidence that western society is going to frikkin' hell in a handcart are directed to the shock revelation that "young women are developing premature wrinkles from staring at their smartphones all day".
That's according to Botoxmonger to the rich and famous, Dr Jean-Louis Sebagh, who reckons that excessive scrunching of the face is to blame for a rise in desperate women seeking "BlackBerry Botox".
Speaking from his facial paralysis HQ in London's Wimpole Street, Sebagh explained to the Evening Standard: "This phenomenon is not unusual with women living in London and the South-East. It can be seen on anyone who has and regularly checks a BlackBerry or iPhone.
"The natural tendency is to squint at the screen when reading messages and as a result some people develop this area of tightness/small frown lines between the brows, which is easily rectified with the light use of Botox by an experienced doctor."
In case you're thinking Sebagh - whose clients include Cindy
Crowsfeet Crawford - has invented this very 21st-century phenomenon to drum up trade, think again.
London beauty therapist Nichola Joss told the Standard she too was aware of the rise of smartphone scrunch. She said: "I've noticed a huge difference over the past 18 months in my clients' faces - it's the constant peering intently down at that mini screen. It's the same with an iPhone."
However, Joss says a daily DIY face massage is the solution, rather than Botox.
The Standard concludes by mentioning BlackBerry thumb, "a form of repetitive strain injury caused by excessive texting", but fails to recommend an expensive private medical cure for the problem. ®
"Confident women aren't customers"
The mantra in the title above is the battle cry of every cosmetic/(company)(surgeon)(outlet) and fashion maven.
So they're constantly finding new ways to tear down confidence/self esteem in their potential customer base via ads and releases like this, to keep the sheep flocking in to buy the wares that are advertised to alleviate the loss.
OK. I'm finished ranting now.
London beauty therapist Nichola Joss .. said: "I've noticed a huge difference over the past 18 months in my clients' faces ..."
That wouldn't be the same 18 months which have seen a huge economic downturn would it? A downturn which has lead to more stress and longer working hours? Are these not factors which would lead to less radiant looking individuals?
I'm sure there's a saying about correlation vs causation, but that Google search box is all the way up at the top of my screen....
Having to squint? Definitely the wrinkles that you need to worry about, not seeing an optician.
Jobs has a patent for this
The new App, still being developed, uses a special algorithm derived from Picassa, that softens the focus of the camera and reduces the tonal range so that dark areas in lines, usually representing a wrinkle, are reduced or eliminated.
Another feature will enable hair tones to remain the same thereby allowing the elimination of grey hair.
Use a bigger font and visit the optician!
FFS, it's not hard... Cheaper than a trip to the poison doctor!