Feeds

Wrinkle-faced smartphoners demand 'BlackBerry Botox'

The facial perils of excessive squinting

Security for virtualized datacentres

Those of you who feel in need of a further bit of evidence that western society is going to frikkin' hell in a handcart are directed to the shock revelation that "young women are developing premature wrinkles from staring at their smartphones all day".

That's according to Botoxmonger to the rich and famous, Dr Jean-Louis Sebagh, who reckons that excessive scrunching of the face is to blame for a rise in desperate women seeking "BlackBerry Botox".

Speaking from his facial paralysis HQ in London's Wimpole Street, Sebagh explained to the Evening Standard: "This phenomenon is not unusual with women living in London and the South-East. It can be seen on anyone who has and regularly checks a BlackBerry or iPhone.

"The natural tendency is to squint at the screen when reading messages and as a result some people develop this area of tightness/small frown lines between the brows, which is easily rectified with the light use of Botox by an experienced doctor."

In case you're thinking Sebagh - whose clients include Cindy Crowsfeet Crawford - has invented this very 21st-century phenomenon to drum up trade, think again.

London beauty therapist Nichola Joss told the Standard she too was aware of the rise of smartphone scrunch. She said: "I've noticed a huge difference over the past 18 months in my clients' faces - it's the constant peering intently down at that mini screen. It's the same with an iPhone."

However, Joss says a daily DIY face massage is the solution, rather than Botox.

The Standard concludes by mentioning BlackBerry thumb, "a form of repetitive strain injury caused by excessive texting", but fails to recommend an expensive private medical cure for the problem. ®

New hybrid storage solutions

More from The Register

next story
Apple iPhone 6: Missing sapphire glass screen FAIL explained
They just cannae do it in time, says analyst
Slap my Imp up: Bullfrog's Dungeon Keeper
Monsters need to earn a living too
Oh noes, fanbois! iPhone 6 Plus shipments 'DELAYED' in the UK
Is EMBIGGENED Apple mobile REALLY that popular?
Apple's big bang: iPhone 6, ANOTHER iPhone 6 Plus and WATCH OUT
Let's >sigh< see what Cupertino has been up to for the past year
Apple Pay is a tidy payday for Apple with 0.15% cut, sources say
Cupertino slurps 15 cents from every $100 purchase
The Apple Watch and CROTCH RUBBING. How are they related?
Plus: 'NostrilTime' wristjob vid action
Apple's SNEAKY plan: COPY ANDROID. Hello iPhone 6, Watch
Sizes, prices and all – but not for the wrist-o-puter
prev story

Whitepapers

Providing a secure and efficient Helpdesk
A single remote control platform for user support is be key to providing an efficient helpdesk. Retain full control over the way in which screen and keystroke data is transmitted.
Top 5 reasons to deploy VMware with Tegile
Data demand and the rise of virtualization is challenging IT teams to deliver storage performance, scalability and capacity that can keep up, while maximizing efficiency.
Reg Reader Research: SaaS based Email and Office Productivity Tools
Read this Reg reader report which provides advice and guidance for SMBs towards the use of SaaS based email and Office productivity tools.
Security for virtualized datacentres
Legacy security solutions are inefficient due to the architectural differences between physical and virtual environments.
Secure remote control for conventional and virtual desktops
Balancing user privacy and privileged access, in accordance with compliance frameworks and legislation. Evaluating any potential remote control choice.