Feeds

Killer shark slain by flying Serbian drunk

Beer fueled freak fish murder wins free holiday

Internet Security Threat Report 2014

Update: Though this report appeared on the MINA site, it now appears to be a fake.

A Serbian man has rescued the Egyptian tourist season by getting himself so drunk he jumped off a high dive and inadvertently killed a shark.

Before it was murdered by the flying Serbian drunk, the shark had injured four tourists and killed another at the famed Egyptian resort Sarm El Sheikh. The besotted leaping Slav was dubbed "Shark El Sheikh" by the Egyptian press. But he also goes by Dragan Stevic, according to the Macedonian International News Agency.

Stevic doesn't remember killing the shark. He was too drunk. He's now in hospital with alcohol poisoning. But the shark slaying was witnessed by Stevic's drinking buddy. After a long night of boozing, Stevic decided he needed a swim. So he walked onto the beach and spotted a diving board.

"Dragan climbed on the jumping board, told me to hold his beer, and simply ran to jump,” the drinking buddy says. “Dragan jumped high and plunged down to the sea, but didn’t make as much splash as we thought he would."

That's because he landed on a shark.

The drunken Serb came down on the shark's head. And the shark died. But the Serb didn't realize this. After swimming to shore, Sevic complained that the water wasn't very soft. And he said his ankle hurt.

As Sevic recovers from his sprained ankle – and the alcohol poisoning – the Sarm El Sheikhh has given him a free vacation. It's a reward for the drunken accidental fish killing exploits he's unable to remember.

Next year, he can come back and do it again. ®

Beginner's guide to SSL certificates

More from The Register

next story
WRISTJOB LOVE BONANZA: justWatch sex app promises blind date hookups
Mankind shuffles into the future, five fingers at a time
Every billionaire needs a PANZER TANK, right? STOP THERE, Paul Allen
Angry Microsoftie hauls auctioneers to court over stalled Pzkw. IV 'deal'
Apple's Mr Havisham: Tim Cook says dead Steve Jobs' office has remained untouched
'I literally think about him every day' says biz baron's old friend
Cops apologise for leaving EXPLOSIVES in suitcase at airport
'Canine training exercise' SNAFU sees woman take home booming baggage
Oi, London thief. We KNOW what you're doing - our PRECRIME system warned us
Aye, shipmate, it be just like that Minority Report
Flaming drone batteries ground commercial flight before takeoff
Passenger had Something To Declare, instead fiddled while plane burned
prev story

Whitepapers

Providing a secure and efficient Helpdesk
A single remote control platform for user support is be key to providing an efficient helpdesk. Retain full control over the way in which screen and keystroke data is transmitted.
WIN a very cool portable ZX Spectrum
Win a one-off portable Spectrum built by legendary hardware hacker Ben Heck
Saudi Petroleum chooses Tegile storage solution
A storage solution that addresses company growth and performance for business-critical applications of caseware archive and search along with other key operational systems.
Protecting users from Firesheep and other Sidejacking attacks with SSL
Discussing the vulnerabilities inherent in Wi-Fi networks, and how using TLS/SSL for your entire site will assure security.
Security for virtualized datacentres
Legacy security solutions are inefficient due to the architectural differences between physical and virtual environments.