Feeds

US politician: 'homosexual agenda' behind TSA groin grope

Pleasure from 'your submission'

Next gen security for virtualised datacentres

A US politician says he's uncovered the real reason for the recently introduced groin-grabbing TSA patdowns. He claims they're part of the dreaded, morals-sapping, country-destroying homosexual agenda.

"The next TSA official that gives you an 'enhanced pat down' could be a practicing homosexual secretly getting pleasure from your submission," Loudoun County, Virginia, supervisor Eugene Delgaudio wrote in an email to his followers in the conservative organization Public Advocate, of which he is president.

The target of Delgaudio's wrath is the TSA's non-discrimination policy, which he identifies as "The federal employee's version of the Gay Bill of Special Rights."

In Delgaudio's righteous opinion, this policy means that the next TSA employee to touch your junk might be ... gasp! ... gay.

Loudoun County, Virginia, supervisor Eugene Delgaudio

Eugene Delgaudio, defender of everything that is upright — well maybe not everything...

Delgaudio's email was obtained by WUSA9.com, which also reports that although the hugely hetero hero makes $40,000 a year as a county supervisor, he pulls in $150,000 as president of an organization whose website proudly proclaims its mission to include "defending the rights of fathers, mothers and children to live their lives free from government intrusions."

Unless, of course, those fathers, mothers, and children happen to be gay.

Earlier this year, as pointed out by WTOP.com, Delgaudio promoted a petition in opposition to the US Student Non-Discrimination Act, which he said would "turn America's schools into indoctrination centers ... its classrooms into social laboratories ... its playgrounds into homosexual breeding grounds."

Delgaudio, ever the witty wordsmith, renamed the anti-discrimination bill the "Homosexual Classrooms Act".

In a recent fundraising appeal, the muy macho master of moralistic manliness warned: "Wedding-gown clad men smooching before some left-wing clergy or state official is just the beginning," and that "You'll see men hand-in-hand skipping down to adoption centers to 'pick out' a little boy for themselves."

Or, for that matter, airports will be chockablock with buff, pierced leathermen crowded into TSA perv-scan booths, drooling over grainy images of forbidden fruits.

Not to put too fine a point on it, but mayhap Supervisor Delgaudio doth protesteth too much. ®

Build a business case: developing custom apps

More from The Register

next story
Drunkards warned: If you can't walk in a straight line, don't shop online, you fool!
Put it away boys. Cover them up ladies. Your credit cards, we mean
Yes, but what are your plans if a DRAGON attacks?
Local UK gov outs most ridiculous FoI requests...
Murder accused DIDN'T ask Siri 'how to hide my roommate'
US court hears of cached browser image - not actual request
Cops baffled by riddle of CHICKEN who crossed ROAD
'Officers were unable to determine Chicken's intent'
Why your mum was WRONG about whiffy tattooed people
They're a future source of RENEWABLE ENERGY
Chomp that sausage: Brits just LOVE scoffing a Full Monty
Sales of traditional brekkie foods soar as hungry folk get their mitts greasy
Nuts to your poncey hipster coffees, I want a TESLA ELECTRO-CAFE
Examining the frothy disconnect in indie cafe culture
prev story

Whitepapers

Implementing global e-invoicing with guaranteed legal certainty
Explaining the role local tax compliance plays in successful supply chain management and e-business and how leading global brands are addressing this.
7 Elements of Radically Simple OS Migration
Avoid the typical headaches of OS migration during your next project by learning about 7 elements of radically simple OS migration.
BYOD's dark side: Data protection
An endpoint data protection solution that adds value to the user and the organization so it can protect itself from data loss as well as leverage corporate data.
Consolidation: The Foundation for IT Business Transformation
In this whitepaper learn how effective consolidation of IT and business resources can enable multiple, meaningful business benefits.
High Performance for All
While HPC is not new, it has traditionally been seen as a specialist area – is it now geared up to meet more mainstream requirements?