Feeds

BURNING LUST for SEXY BUSTY BLONDES - Science explains

Marilyn Monroe babe race to replace today's drab ladies

Security for virtualized datacentres

Women long for the classic Barbie figure with big boobs, long blonde hair and blue eyes because it makes men want to impregnate them, an evolutionary psychologist has proclaimed.

London School of Economics reader Satoshi Kanazawa has successfully manipulated the more malleable and shameless news outlets into excitedly regurgitating the provocative theories contained in his book, Ten Politically Incorrect Truths About Human Nature. He explains that the traditional attributes of the buxom blonde babe have evolutionary advantages, as the Daily Mail duly recounts.

Big boobs are supposedly indicative of fertility, along with a large waist-to-hip ratio. Blonde hair displays grey hairs less obviously, thus concealing age - men prefer the younger bird for a better shot at passing on their DNA, sensibly enough.

Blue eyes, Kanazawa points out, more clearly display pupil dilation, which occurs when the peepers' owner sees something she likes. Thus a man can tell more quickly if a blue-eyed woman fancies a bit or not, saving precious sharking time at the bar.

Kanazawa further postulates that women are getting hotter and having lovelier daughters, while men are regrettably as fugly as ever they were. Beautiful women have more children than the overlooked homely types, and also have more female children, and on it goes in a wondrous babeification of the species.

Presumably this will eventually drop off as beautiful, desirable women who can have their pick of the boys grow disillusioned with the bumping-along-the-bottom unappealingness of the other gender, and opt to remain single and open animal sanctuaries in the countryside instead of procreating. But more research is needed, clearly.

The nifty psychologist has been entertaining us for some months now with his brilliant idiot-friendly, hedonist-flattering theories. This year he's enlightened us as to why more intelligent people are liberal and partake of more fags, booze and drugs, and why night people are smarter than morning people (we always knew this, but then we're clever from staying up late all the time, so we would know - do you see?).

Kanazawa's blog, The Scientific Fundamentalist, is here. ®

Bootnote

He even has something for the froth-averse IT-angle-hungry Reg reader, with his explanation of why Bill Gates is no longer the king of computing.

To wit: the 'age-genius curve' dictates that a person takes greater risks earlier in life and more fully expresses their genius, if they have it, before getting more comfortable in middle-age after the frantic competition for a mate winds down. Gates was driven to make the most of his abilities earlier in his life, when it would get him laid, and having successfully made a family and conquered the universe, the impetus was no longer there. This appears to be a development of the already well-worn theory put by Professor Sick Boy of Edinburgh University in the early Nineties, popularly referred to as "So we all get old and cannae hack it any more, is that it" theory.

Internet Security Threat Report 2014

More from The Register

next story
SECRET U.S. 'SPACE WARPLANE' set to return from SPY MISSION
Robot minishuttle X-37B returns after almost 2 years in orbit
LOHAN crash lands on CNN
Overflies Die Welt en route to lively US news vid
America's super-secret X-37B plane returns to Earth after nearly TWO YEARS aloft
674 days in space for US Air Force's mystery orbital vehicle
'Utter killjoy Reg hacks have NEVER BEEN LAID', writes a fan
'Shuddit, smarty pants!' Some readers reacted badly to our last Doctor Who review ...
Experts brand LOHAN's squeaky-clean box
Phytosanitary treatment renders Vulture 2 crate fit for export
Carry On Cosmonaut: Willful Child is a poor taste Star Trek parody
Cringeworthy, crude and crass jokes abound in Steven Erikson’s sci-fi debut
prev story

Whitepapers

Forging a new future with identity relationship management
Learn about ForgeRock's next generation IRM platform and how it is designed to empower CEOS's and enterprises to engage with consumers.
Win a year’s supply of chocolate
There is no techie angle to this competition so we're not going to pretend there is, but everyone loves chocolate so who cares.
Why cloud backup?
Combining the latest advancements in disk-based backup with secure, integrated, cloud technologies offer organizations fast and assured recovery of their critical enterprise data.
High Performance for All
While HPC is not new, it has traditionally been seen as a specialist area – is it now geared up to meet more mainstream requirements?
Saudi Petroleum chooses Tegile storage solution
A storage solution that addresses company growth and performance for business-critical applications of caseware archive and search along with other key operational systems.