I'm delighted to report that my world-beating journalism has finally received the recognition it deserves, at least in one small corner of the Garden of England.

Here's the improbable story: Reg director Drew Cullen has a daughter who goes to a grammar school in Kent. One day, a mate excitedly waved a piece of paper in her face, enthusing: "Have you seen this?"

Daughter: "Ah yes, The Register, that's my dad's company."
Chum: "You're joking! So your dad knows Lester Haines?"
Daughter: "Yeah, they're friends."
Chum: "Omigod! I can't believe you know Lester Haines. He's my favourite writer!"

Naturally, you're wondering just what piece of quality hackery elevated me to schoolgirl fame, and the answer is this chilling insight into the potential danger of biscuits.

Well, Drew's daughter's pal Anna, it's a tip of the hat to you today from Vulture Central, and remember to take care with those custard creams. ®

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