Feeds

Pumpkin pie could prompt Thanksgiving sexual free-for-all

Black licorice, doughnuts also fingered as sexual stimulants

  • alert
  • submit to reddit

Security for virtualized datacentres

The US will become a seething mass of unbridled passion tomorrow, as millions of American men succumb to the penile enlargening properties of that traditional Thanksgiving dish pumpkin pie.

A US academic has disclosed that in a study of the effects of assorted fragrances on "male sexual response" the smell of warm, smooth, creamy pumpkin pie trounced other supposed passion arousers. (The study isn't exactly new, but appears to be giving some relief to Americans otherwise traumatised by the idea of being felt up TSA operatives on the busiest travel day of the year.)

Dr Alan Hirsch, and his team at Chicago's Smell and Taste Treatment and Research Center measured the increase in penile blood flow in the sample of 31 men when tempted by 24 different odorants. In addition, six combinations of the most well liked were also chosen.

The results showed that the downhome combination of lavender and pumpkin pie increased penile bloodflow by a whopping 40 per cent. The next best result came for the heady combination of doughnut and black licorice which pumped up the volume by 31.5 per cent. The cake on cake pairing of pumpkin pie and doughnut produced a 20 per cent spurt amongst the men, taking third place, with orange just behind delivering a 19.5 per cent boost in their zestiness.

Languishing near the bottom of the top 10, Lily of the Valley, a traditional ingredient in lady splash, managed a comparatively poor 11 per cent increase in penile blood flow, barely ahead of buttered popcorn which produced a 9 per cent pop-up.

Hirsch and his team speculated on why the odours had such a pronounced effect. It could be they're simply relaxing, that they make men more alert to sexual cues, or that they may prompt "nostalgic recall".

"The odors could induce a Pavlovian conditioned response," the team suggested, "reminding partners of sexual partners or their favorite foods."

Or both, given this is the land that teachers its youngsters that having sex is like warm apple pie. This theory is probably as accurate as it is troubling.

Hirsch adds that homologous studies on vaginal blood flow have also been carried out.

We're guessing the results will be released in time for Christmas and will show that American women find the most erotic combination to be eggnog and roasted chestnuts. ®

New hybrid storage solutions

More from The Register

next story
Apple's Mr Havisham: Tim Cook says dead Steve Jobs' office has remained untouched
'I literally think about him every day' says biz baron's old friend
Flaming drone batteries ground commercial flight before takeoff
Passenger had Something To Declare, instead fiddled while plane burned
Cops apologise for leaving EXPLOSIVES in suitcase at airport
'Canine training exercise' SNAFU sees woman take home booming baggage
Every billionaire needs a PANZER TANK, right? STOP THERE, Paul Allen
Angry Microsoftie hauls auctioneers to court over stalled Pzkw. IV 'deal'
WRISTJOB LOVE BONANZA: justWatch sex app promises blind date hookups
Mankind shuffles into the future, five fingers at a time
Jony Ive: Apple iWatch will SCREW UP Switzerland's economy
Apple's chief designer forgot one crucial point about overpriced bling
prev story

Whitepapers

Secure remote control for conventional and virtual desktops
Balancing user privacy and privileged access, in accordance with compliance frameworks and legislation. Evaluating any potential remote control choice.
Saudi Petroleum chooses Tegile storage solution
A storage solution that addresses company growth and performance for business-critical applications of caseware archive and search along with other key operational systems.
High Performance for All
While HPC is not new, it has traditionally been seen as a specialist area – is it now geared up to meet more mainstream requirements?
Security for virtualized datacentres
Legacy security solutions are inefficient due to the architectural differences between physical and virtual environments.
Providing a secure and efficient Helpdesk
A single remote control platform for user support is be key to providing an efficient helpdesk. Retain full control over the way in which screen and keystroke data is transmitted.