Feeds

Pumpkin pie could prompt Thanksgiving sexual free-for-all

Black licorice, doughnuts also fingered as sexual stimulants

  • alert
  • submit to reddit

Build a business case: developing custom apps

The US will become a seething mass of unbridled passion tomorrow, as millions of American men succumb to the penile enlargening properties of that traditional Thanksgiving dish pumpkin pie.

A US academic has disclosed that in a study of the effects of assorted fragrances on "male sexual response" the smell of warm, smooth, creamy pumpkin pie trounced other supposed passion arousers. (The study isn't exactly new, but appears to be giving some relief to Americans otherwise traumatised by the idea of being felt up TSA operatives on the busiest travel day of the year.)

Dr Alan Hirsch, and his team at Chicago's Smell and Taste Treatment and Research Center measured the increase in penile blood flow in the sample of 31 men when tempted by 24 different odorants. In addition, six combinations of the most well liked were also chosen.

The results showed that the downhome combination of lavender and pumpkin pie increased penile bloodflow by a whopping 40 per cent. The next best result came for the heady combination of doughnut and black licorice which pumped up the volume by 31.5 per cent. The cake on cake pairing of pumpkin pie and doughnut produced a 20 per cent spurt amongst the men, taking third place, with orange just behind delivering a 19.5 per cent boost in their zestiness.

Languishing near the bottom of the top 10, Lily of the Valley, a traditional ingredient in lady splash, managed a comparatively poor 11 per cent increase in penile blood flow, barely ahead of buttered popcorn which produced a 9 per cent pop-up.

Hirsch and his team speculated on why the odours had such a pronounced effect. It could be they're simply relaxing, that they make men more alert to sexual cues, or that they may prompt "nostalgic recall".

"The odors could induce a Pavlovian conditioned response," the team suggested, "reminding partners of sexual partners or their favorite foods."

Or both, given this is the land that teachers its youngsters that having sex is like warm apple pie. This theory is probably as accurate as it is troubling.

Hirsch adds that homologous studies on vaginal blood flow have also been carried out.

We're guessing the results will be released in time for Christmas and will show that American women find the most erotic combination to be eggnog and roasted chestnuts. ®

Boost IT visibility and business value

More from The Register

next story
Cops baffled by riddle of CHICKEN who crossed ROAD
'Officers were unable to determine Chicken's intent'
Yes, but what are your plans if a DRAGON attacks?
Local UK gov outs most ridiculous FoI requests...
Drunkards warned: If you can't walk in a straight line, don't shop online, you fool!
Put it away boys. Cover them up ladies. Your credit cards, we mean
Murder accused DIDN'T ask Siri 'how to hide my roommate'
US court hears of cached browser image - not actual request
Why your mum was WRONG about whiffy tattooed people
They're a future source of RENEWABLE ENERGY
Chomp that sausage: Brits just LOVE scoffing a Full Monty
Sales of traditional brekkie foods soar as hungry folk get their mitts greasy
Nuts to your poncey hipster coffees, I want a TESLA ELECTRO-CAFE
Examining the frothy disconnect in indie cafe culture
Ex-Apple man Sam Sung - for it is he - sticks namebadge on eBay
Stump up via tat bazaar, do a good thing for ill kids
Check your Clungene, Irish women warned
Have a quick shufti, you may not be pregnant after all
prev story

Whitepapers

Endpoint data privacy in the cloud is easier than you think
Innovations in encryption and storage resolve issues of data privacy and key requirements for companies to look for in a solution.
Implementing global e-invoicing with guaranteed legal certainty
Explaining the role local tax compliance plays in successful supply chain management and e-business and how leading global brands are addressing this.
Top 8 considerations to enable and simplify mobility
In this whitepaper learn how to successfully add mobile capabilities simply and cost effectively.
Solving today's distributed Big Data backup challenges
Enable IT efficiency and allow a firm to access and reuse corporate information for competitive advantage, ultimately changing business outcomes.
Reg Reader Research: SaaS based Email and Office Productivity Tools
Read this Reg reader report which provides advice and guidance for SMBs towards the use of SaaS based email and Office productivity tools.