Feeds

US man slips into perv scanner-busting undies

Tungsten fig leaves invite drooling TSA operatives to cop a feel

Internet Security Threat Report 2014

US firm Rocky Flats Gear is apparently doing a roaring trade in novel perv scanner-busting underwear - an attractive range of intimate apparel which may protect your naughty bits from radiation and the prying eyes of drooling airport security operatives.

According to the blurb, the kit's main aim is "protecting the traveling public, airline, medical, and security professionals from radiation generated by security and medical imaging equipment".

Boxer shorts and panties with strategically-placed fig leaf and clasped hands

Colorado-based inventor Jeff Buske reckons demand for the tungsten-lined undies is a result of the "inevitable backlash" against the Transportation Security Administration's rapid roll-out of body scanners in the wake of the Xmas Day non-exploding underpants outrage.

The former designer of X-ray machines for General Electric is convinced the scanners aren't safe, despite TSA claims, and told the LA Times that he "designed the undergarments with safety in mind".

Of course, Joe Public may have a more immediate concern than exposure to radiation - exposure to TSA eyeballs and possibly the entire planet.

Buske's friend Lawrence Johnston, a fellow Denverite and fellow member of We Are Change, a "grassroots peace and social justice movement working to reveal the truth behind the events of September 11th, as well as the lies of the government and corporate elite who remain suspect in this crime", summed it up with: "I don't want pictures of my wife on the internet."

Or rather, if an TSA perv scanner image of Johnston's wife in her birthday suit does pop up on the interwebs, he'd prefer her privates obscured by a tungsten fig leaf.

Buske's cunning plan to stop TSA stripping citizens of their dignity has one major flaw, in that "if screeners can't see what's going on, they may have to take more physical measures".

TSA spokesman Nico Melendez explained to the LA Times: "If there is an anomaly that needs to be resolved, a pat-down would occur." ®

Top 5 reasons to deploy VMware with Tegile

More from The Register

next story
Win a year’s supply of chocolate (no tech knowledge required)
Over £200 worth of the good stuff up for grabs
Facebook's Zuckerberg in EBOLA VIRUS FIGHT: Billionaire battles bug
US Centers for Disease Control and Prevention contacted as site supremo coughs up
Red Bull does NOT give you wings, $13.5m lawsuit says so
Website letting consumers claim $10 cash back crashes after stampede
Down-under record: Australian gets $140k for pussy
'Tiffany' closes deal - 'it's more common to offer your wife', says agent
Internet finally ready to replace answering machine cassette tape
It's a simple message and I'm leaving out the whistles and bells
Swiss wildlife park serves up furry residents to visitors
'It's ecological' says spokesman, now how would you like your Bambi done?
The iPAD launch BEFORE it happened: SPECULATIVE GUFF ahead of actual event
Nerve-shattering run-up to the pre-planned known event
Space exploration is just so lame. NEW APPS are mankind's future
We feel obliged to point out the headline statement is total, utter cobblers
STONER SHEEP get the MUNCHIES after feasting on £4k worth of cannabis plants
Baaaaaa! Fanny's Farm's woolly flock is high, maaaaaan
prev story

Whitepapers

Forging a new future with identity relationship management
Learn about ForgeRock's next generation IRM platform and how it is designed to empower CEOS's and enterprises to engage with consumers.
Win a year’s supply of chocolate
There is no techie angle to this competition so we're not going to pretend there is, but everyone loves chocolate so who cares.
Why cloud backup?
Combining the latest advancements in disk-based backup with secure, integrated, cloud technologies offer organizations fast and assured recovery of their critical enterprise data.
High Performance for All
While HPC is not new, it has traditionally been seen as a specialist area – is it now geared up to meet more mainstream requirements?
Saudi Petroleum chooses Tegile storage solution
A storage solution that addresses company growth and performance for business-critical applications of caseware archive and search along with other key operational systems.