US man slips into perv scanner-busting undies
Tungsten fig leaves invite drooling TSA operatives to cop a feel
US firm Rocky Flats Gear is apparently doing a roaring trade in novel perv scanner-busting underwear - an attractive range of intimate apparel which may protect your naughty bits from radiation and the prying eyes of drooling airport security operatives.
According to the blurb, the kit's main aim is "protecting the traveling public, airline, medical, and security professionals from radiation generated by security and medical imaging equipment".
Colorado-based inventor Jeff Buske reckons demand for the tungsten-lined undies is a result of the "inevitable backlash" against the Transportation Security Administration's rapid roll-out of body scanners in the wake of the Xmas Day non-exploding underpants outrage.
The former designer of X-ray machines for General Electric is convinced the scanners aren't safe, despite TSA claims, and told the LA Times that he "designed the undergarments with safety in mind".
Of course, Joe Public may have a more immediate concern than exposure to radiation - exposure to TSA eyeballs and possibly the entire planet.
Buske's friend Lawrence Johnston, a fellow Denverite and fellow member of We Are Change, a "grassroots peace and social justice movement working to reveal the truth behind the events of September 11th, as well as the lies of the government and corporate elite who remain suspect in this crime", summed it up with: "I don't want pictures of my wife on the internet."
Or rather, if an TSA perv scanner image of Johnston's wife in her birthday suit does pop up on the interwebs, he'd prefer her privates obscured by a tungsten fig leaf.
Buske's cunning plan to stop TSA stripping citizens of their dignity has one major flaw, in that "if screeners can't see what's going on, they may have to take more physical measures".
TSA spokesman Nico Melendez explained to the LA Times: "If there is an anomaly that needs to be resolved, a pat-down would occur." ®