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Chicago officer beats off dildo-wielding bill-skipper

Crab Shack mock cock cop attack shock

Internet Security Threat Report 2014

An Illinois woman allegedly launched an ill-considered assault on a cop with a “rigid female pleasure device” after an altercation over an unpaid Crab Shack bill.

Carole Bildsten, a 56-year-old from the Chicago suburb of Gurnee, was accused of leaving an unpaid bill for dinner and wine at Joe's Crab Shack in the town earlier this week, the Chicago Sun Times reports.

This was not the first time she had allegedly skipped the bill at the crab emporium, and the restaurant called the police.

Cops apparently found Bildsten lying in the grass near the Six Flags Great American theme park, the paper reports. The officer asked her if she was OK and suggested she pay her bill. She reportedly replied that all her money was at her nearby home, and the cop offered to accompany her to get some cash to settle the bill.

However, once indoors Bildsten apparently produced what the police described as a "clear, rigid feminine pleasure device" from a drawer. She then waved the wobblesome blunt instrument over her head before advancing on the cop in a "threatening manner".

Luckily Illinois law enforcement are trained to deal with deadly weapons of every description, and the officer fearlessly knocked the device out of the way before arresting his tackle-waving restaurant-ripping-off assailant.

Bildsten is booked to appear in court next month charged with aggravated assault, theft of labour and walking on public roadways while intoxicated. ®

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