Feeds

Chicago officer beats off dildo-wielding bill-skipper

Crab Shack mock cock cop attack shock

The Power of One Brief: Top reasons to choose HP BladeSystem

An Illinois woman allegedly launched an ill-considered assault on a cop with a “rigid female pleasure device” after an altercation over an unpaid Crab Shack bill.

Carole Bildsten, a 56-year-old from the Chicago suburb of Gurnee, was accused of leaving an unpaid bill for dinner and wine at Joe's Crab Shack in the town earlier this week, the Chicago Sun Times reports.

This was not the first time she had allegedly skipped the bill at the crab emporium, and the restaurant called the police.

Cops apparently found Bildsten lying in the grass near the Six Flags Great American theme park, the paper reports. The officer asked her if she was OK and suggested she pay her bill. She reportedly replied that all her money was at her nearby home, and the cop offered to accompany her to get some cash to settle the bill.

However, once indoors Bildsten apparently produced what the police described as a "clear, rigid feminine pleasure device" from a drawer. She then waved the wobblesome blunt instrument over her head before advancing on the cop in a "threatening manner".

Luckily Illinois law enforcement are trained to deal with deadly weapons of every description, and the officer fearlessly knocked the device out of the way before arresting his tackle-waving restaurant-ripping-off assailant.

Bildsten is booked to appear in court next month charged with aggravated assault, theft of labour and walking on public roadways while intoxicated. ®

The smart choice: opportunity from uncertainty

More from The Register

next story
NSA man: 'Tell me about your Turkish connections'
Spooks ask Dabbsy to suggest a nice hotel with pool
Russia sends SEX-CRAZED GECKOS to SPAAAAACE!
In space... no one can hear you're green...
Indian techies-in-training face down MAN-EATING LEOPARD - and WIN
Big cat causes big trouble at Mumbai college
Carlos: Slim your working week to just three days of toil
'Midas World' vision suggests you retire later, watch more tellie and buy more stuff
Yahoo! Japan! launches! service! for! the! dead!
If you're reading this email, I am no longer alive
Plucky Rockall podule man back on (proper) dry land
Bold, barmy Brit adventurer Nick Hancock escapes North Atlantic islet
Motorist 'thought car had caught fire' as Adele track came on stereo
'FIRE' caption on dashboard prompts dunderheaded hard shoulder halt
prev story

Whitepapers

Implementing global e-invoicing with guaranteed legal certainty
Explaining the role local tax compliance plays in successful supply chain management and e-business and how leading global brands are addressing this.
Consolidation: The Foundation for IT Business Transformation
In this whitepaper learn how effective consolidation of IT and business resources can enable multiple, meaningful business benefits.
Application security programs and practises
Follow a few strategies and your organization can gain the full benefits of open source and the cloud without compromising the security of your applications.
How modern custom applications can spur business growth
Learn how to create, deploy and manage custom applications without consuming or expanding the need for scarce, expensive IT resources.
Securing Web Applications Made Simple and Scalable
Learn how automated security testing can provide a simple and scalable way to protect your web applications.