Feeds

MAD Students Union bars 'racist' ZOMBIE PHYSICISTS

Hurtful stereotypical portrayal of undead brain-gobbler community

Top 5 reasons to deploy VMware with Tegile

Indicating just how deeply the modern zeitgeist has been corrupted by tidal waves of zombie-themed fictional claptrap, it has now been revealed that students' union leaders have decided that zombies are an ethnic minority in need of protection from racism.

The fabulous barrelscraping Daily Mail has the scoop, reporting today on a gobsmacking incident in which a group of physics students at Sheffield University attempted to gain entry to a union bar while made up as zombies.

Bouncers, who had been sternly briefed on the strict students' union policy against racism, denied the faux zombies entry, plainly deeming their costumes and makeup to be abusive to zombies everywhere just as black-and-white minstrel getup would nowadays offend modern taste.

Students Union representatives later appeared to confirm that they did indeed have a policy against hurtful stereotypical portrayal of the undead brain-scoffing shambler community.

"It is positive that our security staff were aware of our anti-racism policy," commented Tom Hastings of Sheffield students' union in political-correctness-gone-mad style.

However Hastings did concede that, while praiseworthy, this particular effort to safeguard the feelings of Sheffield's no doubt large community of nocturnal cannibal contagion sufferers had gone too far.

"On this particular occasion the request to remove the face paint was a mistake and done in error," he said.

Read all about it on the Mail here. ®

Secure remote control for conventional and virtual desktops

More from The Register

next story
Win a year’s supply of chocolate (no tech knowledge required)
Over £200 worth of the good stuff up for grabs
Facebook's Zuckerberg in EBOLA VIRUS FIGHT: Billionaire battles bug
US Centers for Disease Control and Prevention contacted as site supremo coughs up
Space exploration is just so lame. NEW APPS are mankind's future
We feel obliged to point out the headline statement is total, utter cobblers
Red Bull does NOT give you wings, $13.5m lawsuit says so
Website letting consumers claim $10 cash back crashes after stampede
Down-under record: Australian gets $140k for pussy
'Tiffany' closes deal - 'it's more common to offer your wife', says agent
Internet finally ready to replace answering machine cassette tape
It's a simple message and I'm leaving out the whistles and bells
Swiss wildlife park serves up furry residents to visitors
'It's ecological' says spokesman, now how would you like your Bambi done?
The iPAD launch BEFORE it happened: SPECULATIVE GUFF ahead of actual event
Nerve-shattering run-up to the pre-planned known event
STONER SHEEP get the MUNCHIES after feasting on £4k worth of cannabis plants
Baaaaaa! Fanny's Farm's woolly flock is high, maaaaaan
FedEx helps deliver THOUSANDS of spam messages DIRECT to its Blighty customers
Don't worry Wilson, I'll do all the paddling. You just hang on
prev story

Whitepapers

Forging a new future with identity relationship management
Learn about ForgeRock's next generation IRM platform and how it is designed to empower CEOS's and enterprises to engage with consumers.
Why cloud backup?
Combining the latest advancements in disk-based backup with secure, integrated, cloud technologies offer organizations fast and assured recovery of their critical enterprise data.
Win a year’s supply of chocolate
There is no techie angle to this competition so we're not going to pretend there is, but everyone loves chocolate so who cares.
High Performance for All
While HPC is not new, it has traditionally been seen as a specialist area – is it now geared up to meet more mainstream requirements?
Intelligent flash storage arrays
Tegile Intelligent Storage Arrays with IntelliFlash helps IT boost storage utilization and effciency while delivering unmatched storage savings and performance.