Feeds

MAD Students Union bars 'racist' ZOMBIE PHYSICISTS

Hurtful stereotypical portrayal of undead brain-gobbler community

Gartner critical capabilities for enterprise endpoint backup

Indicating just how deeply the modern zeitgeist has been corrupted by tidal waves of zombie-themed fictional claptrap, it has now been revealed that students' union leaders have decided that zombies are an ethnic minority in need of protection from racism.

The fabulous barrelscraping Daily Mail has the scoop, reporting today on a gobsmacking incident in which a group of physics students at Sheffield University attempted to gain entry to a union bar while made up as zombies.

Bouncers, who had been sternly briefed on the strict students' union policy against racism, denied the faux zombies entry, plainly deeming their costumes and makeup to be abusive to zombies everywhere just as black-and-white minstrel getup would nowadays offend modern taste.

Students Union representatives later appeared to confirm that they did indeed have a policy against hurtful stereotypical portrayal of the undead brain-scoffing shambler community.

"It is positive that our security staff were aware of our anti-racism policy," commented Tom Hastings of Sheffield students' union in political-correctness-gone-mad style.

However Hastings did concede that, while praiseworthy, this particular effort to safeguard the feelings of Sheffield's no doubt large community of nocturnal cannibal contagion sufferers had gone too far.

"On this particular occasion the request to remove the face paint was a mistake and done in error," he said.

Read all about it on the Mail here. ®

5 things you didn’t know about cloud backup

More from The Register

next story
MEN WANTED to satisfy town full of yearning BRAZILIAN HOTNESS
'Prettier, better organised, more harmonious than if men were in charge'
Cops baffled by riddle of CHICKEN who crossed ROAD
'Officers were unable to determine Chicken's intent'
Yes, but what are your plans if a DRAGON attacks?
Local UK gov outs most ridiculous FoI requests...
Drunkards warned: If you can't walk in a straight line, don't shop online, you fool!
Put it away boys. Cover them up ladies. Your credit cards, we mean
Why your mum was WRONG about whiffy tattooed people
They're a future source of RENEWABLE ENERGY
Murder accused DIDN'T ask Siri 'how to hide my roommate'
US court hears of cached browser image - not actual request
Chomp that sausage: Brits just LOVE scoffing a Full Monty
Sales of traditional brekkie foods soar as hungry folk get their mitts greasy
prev story

Whitepapers

Top 10 endpoint backup mistakes
Avoid the ten endpoint backup mistakes to ensure that your critical corporate data is protected and end user productivity is improved.
Implementing global e-invoicing with guaranteed legal certainty
Explaining the role local tax compliance plays in successful supply chain management and e-business and how leading global brands are addressing this.
Backing up distributed data
Eliminating the redundant use of bandwidth and storage capacity and application consolidation in the modern data center.
The essential guide to IT transformation
ServiceNow discusses three IT transformations that can help CIOs automate IT services to transform IT and the enterprise
Next gen security for virtualised datacentres
Legacy security solutions are inefficient due to the architectural differences between physical and virtual environments.