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MAD Students Union bars 'racist' ZOMBIE PHYSICISTS

Hurtful stereotypical portrayal of undead brain-gobbler community

Internet Security Threat Report 2014

Indicating just how deeply the modern zeitgeist has been corrupted by tidal waves of zombie-themed fictional claptrap, it has now been revealed that students' union leaders have decided that zombies are an ethnic minority in need of protection from racism.

The fabulous barrelscraping Daily Mail has the scoop, reporting today on a gobsmacking incident in which a group of physics students at Sheffield University attempted to gain entry to a union bar while made up as zombies.

Bouncers, who had been sternly briefed on the strict students' union policy against racism, denied the faux zombies entry, plainly deeming their costumes and makeup to be abusive to zombies everywhere just as black-and-white minstrel getup would nowadays offend modern taste.

Students Union representatives later appeared to confirm that they did indeed have a policy against hurtful stereotypical portrayal of the undead brain-scoffing shambler community.

"It is positive that our security staff were aware of our anti-racism policy," commented Tom Hastings of Sheffield students' union in political-correctness-gone-mad style.

However Hastings did concede that, while praiseworthy, this particular effort to safeguard the feelings of Sheffield's no doubt large community of nocturnal cannibal contagion sufferers had gone too far.

"On this particular occasion the request to remove the face paint was a mistake and done in error," he said.

Read all about it on the Mail here. ®

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