The surround speakers are of the dipole variety, offering two sets of drivers firing in opposite directions to give a more diffuse basis to the sound. The twin 100mm midrange driver and 25mm tweeter combos are backed by a 130mm woofer, which faces the wall and brings a significant amount of low-end heft to the sound.

The dipole arrangement is designed to maximise sound dispersal for the surround channels
The 500W subwoofer may be a giant, but it's a very rare example of a consumer model that can generate the levels required for THX Ultra2 using a single 300mm downward-firing driver (others often only manage it with two subs).
On the back is a hefty panel of heatsink fins, a knob for setting the frequency crossover (anywhere between 40-240Hz) and a variety of connection options, including four sets of speaker terminals and phono in/out connections. The front features a stylishly minimalist aluminium panel surrounding a series of LEDs, which can be controlled with the accompanying remote to switch the phase and activate the THX.
Given the high spec and certification of the System 8 it's no surprise at all that it delivers an impressive audio performance. Like sitting behind the wheel of a sports car on a motorway, it's not so much the speed that impresses, it's the potential, and this Teufel’s subwoofer has that in spades.

The sub has its own amplifier, the other speakers need to be plumbed into your own AV amplifier
There's plenty of grunt on offer but after a bit of adjustment, there's never any need for it to dominate the overall sound, and the low-end delivery is always tightly controlled. I wouldn't go so far as to say tasteful, since there's more than enough cheap low-end thrills on offer when required, but you're never in doubt about its ability to cope with anything blast-master Jerry Bruckheimer can thrown at it.

COMMENTS
Only for those with too much money and not enough sense
For the price, a buyer would be better buying a decent amp and separates.
Given that this is basically a premium product designed for a large room, it's difficult to know who the market is. It's not for the absolute novice because it doesn't include an AV amp, neither is it for a well heeled consumer in an average sized house because the hardware is overspecified for that. That leaves wealthy consumers with a large lounge - and such people would be better advised to pay someone to specify and install a 7.1 system (if you've got the space, why bother with 5.1?)
Alternative
The scene from Attack Of The Clones with the improbable "seismic charges" on repeat. Admittedly, while you shouldn't be able to hear them, they do make the coolest (and loudest) bassey noise imaginable.
I approve of your plan regardless.
But why...
.. is Calculons evil brother posing as a sub woofer?
Erm...
I think the OP was being funny?
I'm not sure whether the FAIL is for their misfire, or your misunderstanding ;-)
Revenge
A set of these connected up to an appropriate amp and connected to a CD source playing The Small Faces, Lazy Sunday Afternoon, on infinite repeat, very loudly for a couple of hours, whilst I go out. That should sort next door out and remind them that the walls are quite thin.
"Wouldn't it be nice to get on with me neighbours
But they make it very clear they've got no room for ravers"
He He
P.S yes, yes I know that H&S would probably break the door down but own can dream...
