
Teufel System 8 THX Ultra 2 home cinema speakers
Now, where to put that 500W sub..?
Review German speaker folk Teufel are promoting the System 8 as the world's smallest system to have received THX Ultra2 certification. But don't get the idea that this is a discreet system. It's a monolithic stack of boxes that will demand attention in any room that's much smaller than an auditorium, including a subwoofer that looks as though it could house a family of four… and their pets.

Teufel's System 8 THX Ultra 2: a big sound needs big rooms
Shy and retiring it ain't, but for those who value sound quality and sheer sonic power above all else when it comes to home cinema, the System 8’s lack of compromise could be very appealing. Like Teufel's other home cinema systems – including the System 5 which Reg Hardware auditioned recently – the aesthetic is bold and black. The solid, squared-off boxes look and feel both heavy and impressively sturdy.
The array’s S 800 FCR left, right and centre speakers weigh in at a hefty 8.5kg and measure 46 x 25 x 19cm. The S 800 D bipolar satellites aren't a whole lot smaller at 17 x 31 x 24cm and 6kg, but it's the S 8000 SW subwoofer that's (almost literally) the elephant in the room at a mammoth 36 x 70 x 55cm and 42kg. It's a monster, but one that justifies its bulk by the quality and power of the sound it can produce.
On the whole it's a muscle system that's not afraid to let you know where it's coming from, it's only (very slight) concession to delicacy being its glossy piano black finish which is rather lovely, though something of a fingerprint magnet.
The identical left, right and centre speakers each contain three flat diaphragm drivers – an 80mm midrange model surrounded by a brace of 130mm woofers. Also in the middle is a 25mm silk dome tweeter specially designed to cope with high frequencies at high volume, as demanded by the THX Ultra2 certification. The flat diaphragms are designed to be able to radiate midrange frequencies across the entire diaphragm, so reducing the possibility of phase shifts.

Separate S800 FCR speakers handle duties of left, centre, right sound output
Skirting the trend for magnetised covers, the Teufel's fabric dust screens are slightly oversized and fit around the edges of the speaker cabinet like a shoebox lid. While hardly sophisticated, it is simple and effective. Around the back, there's a pair of gold-plated binding posts along with options for wall or stand mounting with specialist holes provided for each fixing.
COMMENTS
Only for those with too much money and not enough sense
For the price, a buyer would be better buying a decent amp and separates.
Given that this is basically a premium product designed for a large room, it's difficult to know who the market is. It's not for the absolute novice because it doesn't include an AV amp, neither is it for a well heeled consumer in an average sized house because the hardware is overspecified for that. That leaves wealthy consumers with a large lounge - and such people would be better advised to pay someone to specify and install a 7.1 system (if you've got the space, why bother with 5.1?)
Alternative
The scene from Attack Of The Clones with the improbable "seismic charges" on repeat. Admittedly, while you shouldn't be able to hear them, they do make the coolest (and loudest) bassey noise imaginable.
I approve of your plan regardless.
But why...
.. is Calculons evil brother posing as a sub woofer?
Erm...
I think the OP was being funny?
I'm not sure whether the FAIL is for their misfire, or your misunderstanding ;-)
Revenge
A set of these connected up to an appropriate amp and connected to a CD source playing The Small Faces, Lazy Sunday Afternoon, on infinite repeat, very loudly for a couple of hours, whilst I go out. That should sort next door out and remind them that the walls are quite thin.
"Wouldn't it be nice to get on with me neighbours
But they make it very clear they've got no room for ravers"
He He
P.S yes, yes I know that H&S would probably break the door down but own can dream...
