Cambridge chap's todger topiary gets the chop
Keen gardener 'stunned' by police hard line
A keen Cambridge gardener was "stunned" by killjoy coppers who ordered him to take the shears to a novelty todger topiary - or face an £80 fine for the outrage against public order.
Haddenham chap Ian Ashmeade lovingly coaxed a phallus from a bush back in 2002 "after noticing the plant was growing into a similar shape naturally", Cambridge News explains.
This entertained chuckling locals for years, until some spoilsport complained to the police.
Ashmeade was ordered to "trim the bush back", and he complied by converting it into a pea shooter. He is currently world pea shooter champion.
Cambridge News quite rightly snapped the pre-chop horticultural Hampton for posterity, as you can see right here. ®
I guess everytime they walked past, the police assumed they were looking in a mirror. How can they 'threaten' him with a fine. Firstly, they collect the evidence and the CPS then decide to prosecute or not, not the police. Secondly, what the bush looks like is very much in the eye of the beholder. It isn't exactly a detailed artists sketch after all!! I guess people will be prosecuted for displaying odd shaped fruit and vegetables in future, just in case some killjoy, humourless idiot complains.
Ashmeade should have told Plod to go sit on it
This is so typical of what a nanny state Britain has turned into.
Besides, it is all in the beholders mind: it could be taken to look like a immature mushroom with two others on their way.
No right sensed Plod, or even a prosecutor, would have dared take this to court with the threat of the Euro Courts and Human Rights arguments
No doubt Plod would have asked for DNA samples from the offending bush as well as .Ashmede and required both to sign the sex offenders register, too. Little wonder Plod is held in such contempt.
As it stands Plod will think they have new authority to govern these things - what about all those phallic symbols found on public statues, human or animal, that litter the public grounds?
It''s not "Could the coppers not OF covered it up"
It's "Could the coppers not HAVE covered it up" or, at the worst, "Could the coppers NOT'VE covered it up?"
Either way, the problem would not have been solved, merely moved. The helmet would have been taken off one cock and put on another.