Feeds

PARIS furnished with engorgement

Assistant in tight dress fondles powerful squirter

  • alert
  • submit to reddit

Intelligent flash storage arrays

The Paper Aircraft Released Into Space (PARIS) team nipped out yesterday to pick up a satisfyingly large bottle of helium: an 80kg steel beast packing a tad over 10 cubic metres of lifting gas.

We'd like to offer a big ta very much to Air Liquide in Valladolid, for cheerfully providing PARIS with a big lift.

Naturally, our glamorous assistant Rui was on hand to pose with the vital supplies and, for a small large consideration, agreed to don a sequin dress in honour of our inspirational celebutard goddess - the heavenly Paris Hilton:

Our glamorous assistant poses with the helium bottle

If that's not enough Friday excitement for you, then you'll certainly enjoy the supplied balloon fill valve. Ms Hilton has in the past, we're sure, handled similarly-shaped objects:

The suggestively-shaped fill valve

So, we've got helium, a main payload and a launch date. We just need a space paper plane and we're ready for lift-off... ®

Additional PARIS resources

  • Our dedicated PARIS section, with all previous updates, is right here.
  • New to PARIS? We have a basic mission summary here (pdf).
  • Our Flickr page, for your viewing pleasure.
  • Check out our YouTube channel - currently featuring a few kit tests.

Intelligent flash storage arrays

More from The Register

next story
MARS NEEDS WOMEN, claims NASA pseudo 'naut: They eat less
'Some might find this idea offensive' boffin admits
LOHAN crash lands on CNN
Overflies Die Welt en route to lively US news vid
Comet Siding Spring revealed as flying molehill
Hiding from this space pimple isn't going to do humanity's reputation any good
Experts brand LOHAN's squeaky-clean box
Phytosanitary treatment renders Vulture 2 crate fit for export
Boffins who stare at goats: I do believe they’re SHRINKING
Alpine chamois being squashed by global warming
No sail: NASA spikes Sunjammer
'Solar sail' demonstrator project binned
Carry On Cosmonaut: Willful Child is a poor taste Star Trek parody
Cringeworthy, crude and crass jokes abound in Steven Erikson’s sci-fi debut
prev story

Whitepapers

Cloud and hybrid-cloud data protection for VMware
Learn how quick and easy it is to configure backups and perform restores for VMware environments.
A strategic approach to identity relationship management
ForgeRock commissioned Forrester to evaluate companies’ IAM practices and requirements when it comes to customer-facing scenarios versus employee-facing ones.
High Performance for All
While HPC is not new, it has traditionally been seen as a specialist area – is it now geared up to meet more mainstream requirements?
Three 1TB solid state scorchers up for grabs
Big SSDs can be expensive but think big and think free because you could be the lucky winner of one of three 1TB Samsung SSD 840 EVO drives that we’re giving away worth over £300 apiece.
Security for virtualized datacentres
Legacy security solutions are inefficient due to the architectural differences between physical and virtual environments.