Feeds

Man enraged by sagging pants pops cap in teen's ass

Meanwhile, Florida man denies knowledge of butt crack

Intelligent flash storage arrays

A Memphis man driven to distraction by the low-riding pants of two youths is facing aggravated assault charges after popping a cap into one of the exposed asses in question.

Kenneth E Bonds had become incensed by the clothing of a pair of teenagers he spotted walking through his neighbourhood. The teens were sporting fashionably low and sagging jeans.

The concerned citizen berated them, telling them to pull their trousers back up, the AP reports. When the teens refused, an argument ensued. Bonds then decided to settle matters by producing a semi-automatic pistol and threatening to shoot the youths.

The lads, unsurprisingly, took to their heels - presumably rather slowly due to their unergonomic trouserware. Bonds took the chance to loose a few shots, hitting one of the teens in the buttocks.

The young man's wound was described as not critical, but Bonds now faces aggravated assault charges.

In another low-down dirty story, a man pulled over by police in Florida denied all knowledge of 27 rocks of crack cocaine found wedged in his butt crack, but freely admitted that the bag of weed also nestling between his buttocks was his own.

Raymond Stanley was stopped for speeding. The police officers who stopped him smelt marijuana and decided to search him. When confronted with the results of their probing, Stanley said: "The white stuff is not mine, but the weed is." ®

Internet Security Threat Report 2014

More from The Register

next story
Boffins who stare at goats: I do believe they’re SHRINKING
Alpine chamois being squashed by global warming
Not a loyal follower of @BritishMonarchy? You missed The QUEEN*'s first Tweet
Her Maj opens 'Information Age' at the Science Museum
Space exploration is just so lame. NEW APPS are mankind's future
We feel obliged to point out the headline statement is total, utter cobblers
Down-under record: Australian gets $140k for pussy
'Tiffany' closes deal - 'it's more common to offer your wife', says agent
Internet finally ready to replace answering machine cassette tape
It's a simple message and I'm leaving out the whistles and bells
FedEx helps deliver THOUSANDS of spam messages DIRECT to its Blighty customers
Don't worry Wilson, I'll do all the paddling. You just hang on
The iPAD launch BEFORE it happened: SPECULATIVE GUFF ahead of actual event
Nerve-shattering run-up to the pre-planned known event
Win a year’s supply of chocolate (no tech knowledge required)
Over £200 worth of the good stuff up for grabs
STONER SHEEP get the MUNCHIES after feasting on £4k worth of cannabis plants
Baaaaaa! Fanny's Farm's woolly flock is high, maaaaaan
Adorkable overshare of words like photobomb in this year's dictionaries
And hipsters are finally defined as self-loathing. Sort of
prev story

Whitepapers

Why cloud backup?
Combining the latest advancements in disk-based backup with secure, integrated, cloud technologies offer organizations fast and assured recovery of their critical enterprise data.
A strategic approach to identity relationship management
ForgeRock commissioned Forrester to evaluate companies’ IAM practices and requirements when it comes to customer-facing scenarios versus employee-facing ones.
Security for virtualized datacentres
Legacy security solutions are inefficient due to the architectural differences between physical and virtual environments.
Reg Reader Research: SaaS based Email and Office Productivity Tools
Read this Reg reader report which provides advice and guidance for SMBs towards the use of SaaS based email and Office productivity tools.
New hybrid storage solutions
Tackling data challenges through emerging hybrid storage solutions that enable optimum database performance whilst managing costs and increasingly large data stores.