Feeds

Monkey squad sent in to secure Commonwealth Games

Security duties only - no building or cleaning work

The essential guide to IT transformation

Indian authorities have drafted in a crack troop of monkeys to guard foreign athletes amidst the ongoing carnage of the Delhi Commonwealth Games.

AFP reports that New Delhi council has drafted in ten langur monkey handlers fielding as many as 38 of the fearsome primates.

While the key image of the Games so far is of overflowing toilets in the athletes village and collapsing infrastructure at the stadia, the monkeys will sadly not be deployed to finish off foot bridges, repaint corridors or scrub khazis.

Rather their main task will be to take care of their smaller wild brethren, mainly from the VIP areas. Apparently the swimming facilities will be a key area for the monkey patrol.

The local monkeys are feared throughout Delhi, and even attacked the mayor in 2007, causing him to fall from his balcony to his death.

However, while the monkeys are clearly a threat it's cobras that have really put the willies up the athletes. The South African team has reportedly already found one king cobra in residence in their quarters, while another ten-footer was caught in the tennis complex.

According to the Independent, authorities have enlisted snake charmers to coax the reptiles out of the games areas.

Clearly this is job for a highly trained squad of mongooses, acting in classic Rikki-Tikki-Tavi style. So far there has been no official word on such a deployment - we can only assume that the Indian mongoose squad works under the same secrecy conditions as the SAS and Delta Force. ®

Build a business case: developing custom apps

More from The Register

next story
Cops baffled by riddle of CHICKEN who crossed ROAD
'Officers were unable to determine Chicken's intent'
MEN WANTED to satisfy town full of yearning BRAZILIAN HOTNESS
'Prettier, better organised, more harmonious than if men were in charge'
Yes, but what are your plans if a DRAGON attacks?
Local UK gov outs most ridiculous FoI requests...
Drunkards warned: If you can't walk in a straight line, don't shop online, you fool!
Put it away boys. Cover them up ladies. Your credit cards, we mean
Why your mum was WRONG about whiffy tattooed people
They're a future source of RENEWABLE ENERGY
Murder accused DIDN'T ask Siri 'how to hide my roommate'
US court hears of cached browser image - not actual request
Chomp that sausage: Brits just LOVE scoffing a Full Monty
Sales of traditional brekkie foods soar as hungry folk get their mitts greasy
prev story

Whitepapers

A new approach to endpoint data protection
What is the best way to ensure comprehensive visibility, management, and control of information on both company-owned and employee-owned devices?
Implementing global e-invoicing with guaranteed legal certainty
Explaining the role local tax compliance plays in successful supply chain management and e-business and how leading global brands are addressing this.
Maximize storage efficiency across the enterprise
The HP StoreOnce backup solution offers highly flexible, centrally managed, and highly efficient data protection for any enterprise.
How modern custom applications can spur business growth
Learn how to create, deploy and manage custom applications without consuming or expanding the need for scarce, expensive IT resources.
Next gen security for virtualised datacentres
Legacy security solutions are inefficient due to the architectural differences between physical and virtual environments.