Feeds

Monkey squad sent in to secure Commonwealth Games

Security duties only - no building or cleaning work

Security for virtualized datacentres

Indian authorities have drafted in a crack troop of monkeys to guard foreign athletes amidst the ongoing carnage of the Delhi Commonwealth Games.

AFP reports that New Delhi council has drafted in ten langur monkey handlers fielding as many as 38 of the fearsome primates.

While the key image of the Games so far is of overflowing toilets in the athletes village and collapsing infrastructure at the stadia, the monkeys will sadly not be deployed to finish off foot bridges, repaint corridors or scrub khazis.

Rather their main task will be to take care of their smaller wild brethren, mainly from the VIP areas. Apparently the swimming facilities will be a key area for the monkey patrol.

The local monkeys are feared throughout Delhi, and even attacked the mayor in 2007, causing him to fall from his balcony to his death.

However, while the monkeys are clearly a threat it's cobras that have really put the willies up the athletes. The South African team has reportedly already found one king cobra in residence in their quarters, while another ten-footer was caught in the tennis complex.

According to the Independent, authorities have enlisted snake charmers to coax the reptiles out of the games areas.

Clearly this is job for a highly trained squad of mongooses, acting in classic Rikki-Tikki-Tavi style. So far there has been no official word on such a deployment - we can only assume that the Indian mongoose squad works under the same secrecy conditions as the SAS and Delta Force. ®

Beginner's guide to SSL certificates

More from The Register

next story
Facebook's Zuckerberg in EBOLA VIRUS FIGHT: Billionaire battles bug
US Centers for Disease Control and Prevention contacted as site supremo coughs up
Boffins who stare at goats: I do believe they’re SHRINKING
Alpine chamois being squashed by global warming
Space exploration is just so lame. NEW APPS are mankind's future
We feel obliged to point out the headline statement is total, utter cobblers
Down-under record: Australian gets $140k for pussy
'Tiffany' closes deal - 'it's more common to offer your wife', says agent
Internet finally ready to replace answering machine cassette tape
It's a simple message and I'm leaving out the whistles and bells
FedEx helps deliver THOUSANDS of spam messages DIRECT to its Blighty customers
Don't worry Wilson, I'll do all the paddling. You just hang on
The iPAD launch BEFORE it happened: SPECULATIVE GUFF ahead of actual event
Nerve-shattering run-up to the pre-planned known event
Win a year’s supply of chocolate (no tech knowledge required)
Over £200 worth of the good stuff up for grabs
STONER SHEEP get the MUNCHIES after feasting on £4k worth of cannabis plants
Baaaaaa! Fanny's Farm's woolly flock is high, maaaaaan
Adorkable overshare of words like photobomb in this year's dictionaries
And hipsters are finally defined as self-loathing. Sort of
prev story

Whitepapers

Cloud and hybrid-cloud data protection for VMware
Learn how quick and easy it is to configure backups and perform restores for VMware environments.
A strategic approach to identity relationship management
ForgeRock commissioned Forrester to evaluate companies’ IAM practices and requirements when it comes to customer-facing scenarios versus employee-facing ones.
High Performance for All
While HPC is not new, it has traditionally been seen as a specialist area – is it now geared up to meet more mainstream requirements?
Three 1TB solid state scorchers up for grabs
Big SSDs can be expensive but think big and think free because you could be the lucky winner of one of three 1TB Samsung SSD 840 EVO drives that we’re giving away worth over £300 apiece.
Security for virtualized datacentres
Legacy security solutions are inefficient due to the architectural differences between physical and virtual environments.