Feeds

Christian group declares jct 9 on M25 cursed

Vigil cleanses area of unholy cassette recordings

Choosing a cloud hosting partner with confidence

A group of Christian evangelicals has declared junction 9 of the M25 "hexed" and is staging regular prayer meetings to cleanse the benighted interchange.

According to the Surrey Advertiser, Gerald Coates of the Pioneer Engage Church in Leatherhead has attributed a rash of accidents and footbridge suicides around the junction to someone "motivated by dark forces".

Coates believes the malefactor has been recording evil messages onto cassette tapes which are then unspooled to enclose and hence curse their target areas.

The abundance of unspooled tapes in the area were proof of the malevolent plan, he told the paper.

The Advertiser reports that a prayer vigil on the Kingston Road bridge organised by Coates had attracted up to 30 people.

"I do believe we will see far fewer incidents, but if the trend is not reversed then we will return for another vigil in mid-December," said Coates.

He concluded that the vigil had the full support of drivers, saying "People were waving and shouting and beeping their horns, the whole atmosphere was great."

He added that he couldn't be completely sure that a hex was the cause of the problems, but he could not think of another reason for the disproportionate number of crashes and suicides between junctions 10 to 8 compared to other areas.

Others remain unconvinced, pointing out that the stretch of motorway in question sits between the turnoffs for Gatwick airport and the A3, with Heathrow airport and main routes to the South West and West just a few more junctions on.

This brings an unholy agglomeration of freight and airport traffic, as well as gardeners visiting the Royal Horticultural Society gardens at Wisley, and performance car-driving celebrities and stockbrokers returning to their country mansions. The road also has a tendency to flood - if the roadside warning signs are to be believed.

Lastly, as one commenter on the Surrey Ad's story points out, "Most evil spirits these days use mp3 players anyway. They're far smaller and convenient to carry when crossing between the dark realm to our side and back again. Portable CD players were previously used, but cassette recorders were universally ditched *years* ago!" ®

Security for virtualized datacentres

More from The Register

next story
Every billionaire needs a PANZER TANK, right? STOP THERE, Paul Allen
Angry Microsoftie hauls auctioneers to court over stalled Pzkw. IV 'deal'
Apple's Mr Havisham: Tim Cook says dead Steve Jobs' office has remained untouched
'I literally think about him every day' says biz baron's old friend
Flaming drone batteries ground commercial flight before takeoff
Passenger had Something To Declare, instead fiddled while plane burned
Cops apologise for leaving EXPLOSIVES in suitcase at airport
'Canine training exercise' SNAFU sees woman take home booming baggage
WRISTJOB LOVE BONANZA: justWatch sex app promises blind date hookups
Mankind shuffles into the future, five fingers at a time
Jony Ive: Apple iWatch will SCREW UP Switzerland's economy
Apple's chief designer forgot one crucial point about overpriced bling
prev story

Whitepapers

Providing a secure and efficient Helpdesk
A single remote control platform for user support is be key to providing an efficient helpdesk. Retain full control over the way in which screen and keystroke data is transmitted.
Saudi Petroleum chooses Tegile storage solution
A storage solution that addresses company growth and performance for business-critical applications of caseware archive and search along with other key operational systems.
Security and trust: The backbone of doing business over the internet
Explores the current state of website security and the contributions Symantec is making to help organizations protect critical data and build trust with customers.
Reg Reader Research: SaaS based Email and Office Productivity Tools
Read this Reg reader report which provides advice and guidance for SMBs towards the use of SaaS based email and Office productivity tools.
Security for virtualized datacentres
Legacy security solutions are inefficient due to the architectural differences between physical and virtual environments.