1 in 10 Americans prefer colonoscopies to PC security

A third of Americans see nothing wrong with being connected to the web while on honeymoon, but would balk at hooking up during a wedding, a security firm has claimed.

The survey, sponsored by PCTools, also found that more than one in 10 Americans would rather get a colonoscopy that spend time cleaning up their computer.

The results illustrate either Americans' increasingly confused attitudes to marriage, the net and video-assisted anal intrusion, or the depths to which computer security companies will go to to get punters interested in their products.

Assuming the former, we can comfort ourselves with the fact that while 29 per cent of Americans think perfectly acceptable to go online during their honeymoon, just six per cent would think of doing so at a wedding, while eight per cent would surf the net during a religious service.

Outside the bedroom or church, 41 per cent would go online during dinner with friends or family, but just a quarter would so in "a fancy restaurant". Presumably because they're worried about some kind of online corkage fee.

The survey found 79 per cent of Americans would like to keep their files private from others, so it's little surprise that 45 per cent have material on their computers of mobiles they'd be embarrassed for their family or friends to see. Oh, and men are more worried than women about having their website history exposed.

With such a self-contradictory attitude to PCs and other digital kit, it's not surprising then that three quarters of adults would do almost anything else to avoid spending time cleaning up their system's registry. Over half would rather do their laundry, 43 per cent would prefer to change a nappy, 34 per cent would go to the dentist and 12 per cent would prefer to get a colonoscopy.

Sadly there is no detail of whether the colonoscopy fans are also the ones most concerned about their family and friends seeing their web browsing history. ®