Feeds

Tinfoil 'radiation shield' maternity wear hits 'Frisco

Fearmongers rebrand stench-buster fabric

SANS - Survey on application security programs

It's actually intended for people who smell

OK, so wear a Belly Armor T-shirt, or drape yourself in multiple blankets. But you're still not out of the woods, actually: look up there in the corner of the ceiling! My God! The burglar-alarm MOTION DETECTOR is quite possibly BEAMING OUT DEADLY RAYS at 10.5 GHz - WELL OUTSIDE the tested band in which Belly Armor is known to work!

And OMG! There might be cops nearby using speed guns. The sky is full of satellites bathing the Earth in "radiation". Those criminal maniacs at the airport and in the military are beaming out radar all over the place. All these signals laugh at Belly Armor, so you'd still be really somewhat of a fool to spend up to $109 a pop on it even if there was any evidence at all that non-ionising low energy microwaves have any health effects whatsoever - which there isn't.

In fact you might still feel seriously ripped off even if low-power microwaves were dangerous (no) and silver fibre actually stopped all of them (no again). Silver fibre fabric is nothing new or special: it is mostly sold for its bacteria-killing properties. For instance if you suffer from stinky feet, some silver socks might help. If you like to get outdoors and shed some perspiration, plenty of sportswear companies offer silvery fabrics to quell the resulting personal odours. US Navy SEAL special-ops troops, often compelled to wear their uniforms continuously for long and sweaty periods in the field without washing, sometimes wear silver-fibre togs to prevent their garments rotting off their bodies.

If silver fibre is what you want, there's no need to pay a minimum of $60 for Belly Armor. You could get a nice silver pyjama top for under $40, or maybe find a silver sports top for even less.

But frankly, if you're the sort of person who is seriously considering the purchase of Belly Armor, you probably already own and wear a hat made of tinfoil. Why don't you simply wrap a length of trusty kitchen aluminium round your midsection, too? ®

3 Big data security analytics techniques

More from The Register

next story
Most Americans doubt Big Bang, not too sure about evolution, climate change – survey
Science no match for religion, politics, business interests
KILLER SPONGES menacing California coastline
Surfers are safe, crustaceans less so
Discovery time for 200m WONDER MATERIALS shaved from 4 MILLENNIA... to 4 years
Alloy, Alloy: Boffins in speed-classification breakthrough
LOHAN and the amazing technicolor spaceplane
Our Vulture 2 livery is wrapped, and it's les noix du mutt
Liftoff! SpaceX Falcon 9 lifts Dragon on third resupply mission to ISS
SpaceX snaps smartly into one-second launch window
STEALTHY NANOROBOTS dress up as viruses, prepare to sneak into YOUR BODY
Cloaking techniques nicked from viruses tackle roadblocks on way to medical frontier
Elon Musk's LEAKY THRUSTER gas stalls Space Station supply run
Helium seeps from Falcon 9 first stage, delays new legs for NASA robonaut
prev story

Whitepapers

Mobile application security study
Download this report to see the alarming realities regarding the sheer number of applications vulnerable to attack, as well as the most common and easily addressable vulnerability errors.
3 Big data security analytics techniques
Applying these Big Data security analytics techniques can help you make your business safer by detecting attacks early, before significant damage is done.
The benefits of software based PBX
Why you should break free from your proprietary PBX and how to leverage your existing server hardware.
Securing web applications made simple and scalable
In this whitepaper learn how automated security testing can provide a simple and scalable way to protect your web applications.
Combat fraud and increase customer satisfaction
Based on their experience using HP ArcSight Enterprise Security Manager for IT security operations, Finansbank moved to HP ArcSight ESM for fraud management.