Feeds

Steve Jobs no ninja, says Apple

That's just what you'd expect a ninja to say

High performance access to file storage

Apple has denied that Steve Jobs is a ninja and dismissed reports that he was stopped at a Japanese airport with a set of throwing death stars in his hand luggage.

But before Jobs' more paranoid rivals in Silicon Valley relax, they should consider that this is exactly the sort of corporate response you'd expect to the revelation that your CEO is a member of a secretive network of martial artists whose arcane but deadly skills are available to the highest bidder.

Sensei Steve's supposed double life as a black-clad Japanese assassin was revealed yesterday, when Bloomberg reported a local magazine's account of the alleged incident.

The firm has reportedly said that Jobs was indeed in Japan this summer of vacation, but "the incidents described at the airport are pure fiction".

It added that "Steve had a great time and hopes to visit Japan again soon".

Which, depending on your point of view, either puts the matter to rest, or simply confirms that Jobs is indeed a highly-ranked master in one of Japan's most feared military arts.

The ninja were renowned as much for their skills in mind manipulation, sowing confusion, concealment and ruthlessness, as their physical martial arts.

They were even reputed to be able to walk on water. Sound familiar? ®

High performance access to file storage

More from The Register

next story
Spanish village called 'Kill the Jews' mulls rebranding exercise
Not exactly attractive to the Israeli tourist demographic
Forget the beach 'n' boardwalk, check out the Santa Cruz STEVE JOBS FOUNTAIN
Reg reader snaps shot of touching tribute to Apple icon
Oz bank in comedy Heartbleed blog FAIL
Bank: 'We are now safely patched.' Customers: 'You were using OpenSSL?'
Happy 40th Playmobil: Reg looks back at small, rude world of our favourite tiny toys
Little men straddle LOHAN, attend tiny G20 Summit... ah, sweet memories...
Lego is the TOOL OF SATAN, thunders Polish priest
New minifigs like Monster Fighters are turning kids to the dark side
Dark SITH LORD 'Darth Vader' joins battle to rule, er, Ukraine
Only I can 'make an empire out of a republic' intones presidential candidate
Chinese company counters pollution by importing fresh air
Citizens line up for bags of that sweet, sweet mountain air
Google asks April Fools: Want a job? Be our 'Pokemon Master'
Mountain View is prankin' like it's 1999...
prev story

Whitepapers

Top three mobile application threats
Learn about three of the top mobile application security threats facing businesses today and recommendations on how to mitigate the risk.
Combat fraud and increase customer satisfaction
Based on their experience using HP ArcSight Enterprise Security Manager for IT security operations, Finansbank moved to HP ArcSight ESM for fraud management.
The benefits of software based PBX
Why you should break free from your proprietary PBX and how to leverage your existing server hardware.
Five 3D headsets to be won!
We were so impressed by the Durovis Dive headset we’ve asked the company to give some away to Reg readers.
SANS - Survey on application security programs
In this whitepaper learn about the state of application security programs and practices of 488 surveyed respondents, and discover how mature and effective these programs are.