Feeds

Steve Jobs no ninja, says Apple

That's just what you'd expect a ninja to say

Intelligent flash storage arrays

Apple has denied that Steve Jobs is a ninja and dismissed reports that he was stopped at a Japanese airport with a set of throwing death stars in his hand luggage.

But before Jobs' more paranoid rivals in Silicon Valley relax, they should consider that this is exactly the sort of corporate response you'd expect to the revelation that your CEO is a member of a secretive network of martial artists whose arcane but deadly skills are available to the highest bidder.

Sensei Steve's supposed double life as a black-clad Japanese assassin was revealed yesterday, when Bloomberg reported a local magazine's account of the alleged incident.

The firm has reportedly said that Jobs was indeed in Japan this summer of vacation, but "the incidents described at the airport are pure fiction".

It added that "Steve had a great time and hopes to visit Japan again soon".

Which, depending on your point of view, either puts the matter to rest, or simply confirms that Jobs is indeed a highly-ranked master in one of Japan's most feared military arts.

The ninja were renowned as much for their skills in mind manipulation, sowing confusion, concealment and ruthlessness, as their physical martial arts.

They were even reputed to be able to walk on water. Sound familiar? ®

Top 5 reasons to deploy VMware with Tegile

Whitepapers

Why and how to choose the right cloud vendor
The benefits of cloud-based storage in your processes. Eliminate onsite, disk-based backup and archiving in favor of cloud-based data protection.
Getting started with customer-focused identity management
Learn why identity is a fundamental requirement to digital growth, and how without it there is no way to identify and engage customers in a meaningful way.
High Performance for All
While HPC is not new, it has traditionally been seen as a specialist area – is it now geared up to meet more mainstream requirements?
Reducing the cost and complexity of web vulnerability management
How using vulnerability assessments to identify exploitable weaknesses and take corrective action can reduce the risk of hackers finding your site and attacking it.
Saudi Petroleum chooses Tegile storage solution
A storage solution that addresses company growth and performance for business-critical applications of caseware archive and search along with other key operational systems.