Feeds

Blighty suffers 'real shortage of serviceable conkers'

Bad weather hits supplies hard

Intelligent flash storage arrays

There's some grim news today for those kids who are still allowed to play conkers, albeit in full body armour with helmet and visor: the crap summer weather has caused a "real shortage of serviceable conkers".

Keith Flett of the Campaign For Real Conkers has warned that conkers are dropping before they've had a chance to ripen in the sun, meaning they're pretty well useless.

He said: "Normally conkers games would be in full swing by now but there is a real shortage of serviceable conkers.

"The conkers are nowhere near ripe enough yet and people won't be able to get their practice in. When you whack a conker before it is ripe it will crumble to bits."

Quite how the emergency will hit the World Conker Championships, scheduled for 10 October in Ashton, Northants, remains to be seen.

Flett advised those determined to get their hands on some decent conkers to "travel to Wales or the south-west of England, where the weather has been better", the Sun explains.

The paper notes that killjoy schools have in recent years moved to prevent the terrible, crippling injuries which were previously part and parcel of a solid game of conkers.

It concludes: "Some schools have forced pupils to wear goggles while playing." ®

Security for virtualized datacentres

More from The Register

next story
Boffins who stare at goats: I do believe they’re SHRINKING
Alpine chamois being squashed by global warming
Comet Siding Spring revealed as flying molehill
Hiding from this space pimple isn't going to do humanity's reputation any good
Experts brand LOHAN's squeaky-clean box
Phytosanitary treatment renders Vulture 2 crate fit for export
LONG ARM of the SAUR: Brachially gifted dino bone conundrum solved
Deinocheirus mirificus was a bit of a knuckle dragger
MARS NEEDS WOMEN, claims NASA pseudo 'naut: They eat less
'Some might find this idea offensive' boffin admits
No sail: NASA spikes Sunjammer
'Solar sail' demonstrator project binned
Carry On Cosmonaut: Willful Child is a poor taste Star Trek parody
Cringeworthy, crude and crass jokes abound in Steven Erikson’s sci-fi debut
prev story

Whitepapers

Choosing cloud Backup services
Demystify how you can address your data protection needs in your small- to medium-sized business and select the best online backup service to meet your needs.
Forging a new future with identity relationship management
Learn about ForgeRock's next generation IRM platform and how it is designed to empower CEOS's and enterprises to engage with consumers.
Security for virtualized datacentres
Legacy security solutions are inefficient due to the architectural differences between physical and virtual environments.
Reg Reader Research: SaaS based Email and Office Productivity Tools
Read this Reg reader report which provides advice and guidance for SMBs towards the use of SaaS based email and Office productivity tools.
Storage capacity and performance optimization at Mizuno USA
Mizuno USA turn to Tegile storage technology to solve both their SAN and backup issues.