Sons of Kahn: The Apocrypha
Delphi in a Discotheque
Stob The Sons of Kahn move on
- And it came to pass, as hath previously been extensively documented, that the Sons of Kahn were sold by the Borlandites unto the hyperpolysyllabic Embarcoderhododendrongogogoch.
- And one acquisition begat another. For, in turn, the Borlandites themselves were absorbed by the tribe of Methuselah-focus, that hath the knowing of the mystery of COBOL.
- And I wager this unto thee: this is verily the last we shall hear of the Borlandites.
- Thus it came about that the Sons of Kahn prepared to go forth from their old camp in the valley of the Scotts, to move into new premises. And they did clear out their old chattels, and did sell them for charity.
- And they did flog off many wondrous things:
Borland Inprise Borland Codegear Embarcadero liveth here
- Six Turbo Pascal V2 manual scrolls, describing CP/M support;
- Ten buttons decorated 'I heart Sidekick Plus';
- 2,728 copies of the jazz CD Philippe grooveth to Quattro Pro, not all John Hancocked by the headline artist;
- One company sign, 6 x 4 cubits, hewn from a solid slab of the purest, crystal yocamite, and weighing many camels. And it was inscribed upon its face with the words:
Please ring for attention
- (But whether there still existed the famous 1/5th scale model of Stonehenge, or it had been grubbed up, or was associated with some other site, sadly we have no news. For verily is it not well written that these corporate bloggers tell unto thee everything except what thou actually wanst to know?)
- And the Sons of Kahn did move unto a headquarters nearby in the valley of the Scotts, that is actually a discotheque by night. For they had got an excellent deal, provided they cleared out by 5.30pm every day.
- And this building is what you see portrayed on the otherwise-puzzling background image on their home page.
Resurgence of Delphi
- And the Sons of Kahn did labour diligently for many days and many nights.
- And they brought forth a 'map of the road for Delphi', which is marketing jargon for the improvements they planned.
- And the Users of Delphi looked upon this map of the road, and saw that it looked fab. For it promised:
- New cross-platform compilers generating native code;
- Mac and Linux compatibility without getting up out of your chair;
- Probably do iPhone and iPad and Android too, if we feel like it;
- And IBM z/Architecture for mainframes, and the Rolf Harris Stylophone.
- Kick sand in the faces of Java and .NET developers after all these years of jeering.
- Plus a 64-virgin compiler on arrival in heaven. Sorry, did we say 'virgin' there? Meant 'bits'. Definitely 'bits'.
- (At least, this is how it is remembered. It is now withdrawn, so thou canst check it not.)
- Wherefore the Users of Delphi did feel pretty cocky. And they did sing a new war song:
MS lost its mojo,
Jobsy mashed up Flash,
Oracle's strangling Java,
But Delph will never crash!
- And they dragged home their sorry asses (but forgetting not their even more disconsolate oxen) and prepared to govern.